Help for Haiti

LDS Humanitarian services is one of the best charities you can send your money to.  Not only do they NOT send in boxes full of food and religious tracts as some do, but 100% of your aid donation goes directly to aid. And administrative costs are paid from other sources.  Not too many charities can make that claim.  

The Example of Parents

Mark and I have worked with youth in the church for years through the youth programs or Mark being Bishop.  One thing we have noticed is that good, faithful, active parents grow good, faithful active youth.  The opposite is also true.  If you want your kids to grow up and drop out of activity about age 14 (which seems to be the age many kids disappear), then be pretty inactive yourself.  They'll follow your example.

The most puzzling of all parental behaviors is the "do as I say, not as I do" parent.  These are hard because they will call the Bishop or youth leaders and whine and complain about their kids not wanting to go to seminary or mutual or on missions or anything else.  They WANT their kids to do all these things but the kids are turning it all into a big battle.  

Sometimes those calls come from the good, active and faithful parents.  But, more often than not, those calls come from the parents who are not really modeling the behavior they want from their kids.  

• If you want your child to go to youth activities, then go to ward activities yourself.
• if the Gospel is important, then don't let other things replace it like sports on mutual nights all year or early morning activities that keep them from seminary.  
• If you want your child to think the temple is important, then attend it.
• If you want your child to take seminary seriously and go, then have family scripture study in the home
• If you want your child to learn to participate and magnify callings, don't call back and get him/her out of every talk, assignment or calling issued to them because they are "too busy".
• If you want your child to think callings are important, magnify or just do your own
• If you want the Sabbath to be honored, don't treat it like any other day yourself

So many times, parents who call the youth leaders or the Bishop about their children are not setting the example themselves.  They just want someone to "fix" their child.  They don't want to have to work at it themselves.

Our Stake President has a pretty strict set of standards for prospective missionaries.  They must essentially live like a missionary for 3 months before he will turn in their papers.  His rules include; no TV on the Sabbath, no worldly music and 3 months of 100% home or visiting teaching.  

At a stake RS meeting last year, he said he was surprised at how many prospective Elders told him it was REALLY HARD to avoid TV in their homes on the Sabbath.  My immediate thought was, "Why wouldn't those parents turn off that TV and help their sons prepare for missions?"  How sad.  He said some young men and women spent all Sunday afternoon in their rooms while their families watched football or movies or other shows.  If these parents WANT their son or daughter to serve a mission, then why aren't they supporting them in their preparation?  

I can't remember which General Authority said this at a Stake Conference 20+ years ago, but it made a HUGE impression on us.  He called this kind of "do as I say, not as I do" attitude, "Sloppy living of the gospel".   Parents need to set the example for the behaviors they want from their kids or they will get only what they model - kids who rise to the same level of commitment they do.  Sometimes parents blame the kids (and call their leaders for help) when, in fact, they need to think about how the kids learned to be casual about their activity in church.  

Last night, on the way home from the temple, Mark and I got talking about some family members who were never very active in the church.  Their adult children are not active at all (although they attended on Sunday growing up) and we expect their children's children to never set foot in the church.   None have married in the temple and most of their spouses are not members of the church.  We talked about how sad it was to essentially have a whole branch of our family tree pruned right our of our eternal family.  As we talked about this, we came to the conclusion that if neutral activity is the center point, wherever you fall above or below that, so will your kids.   Future generations may even magnify and take a step beyond you in the direction away from the mid-point.  It would be rare for someone from a completely inactive family to roar back into full activity.  Your parents teach you how important or unimportant the gospel is to your life.  

While their friends may have a strong influence on your children, you can too.  And, although they may walk away from the church once in a while and you may need some extra support to get them back on track.  At the end of the day, neither the Bishop, nor the youth leaders can undo the example you have set for your kids.  Something to think about next time you decide to skip a meeting...

Art that Teaches

When my grandmother passed away about 10 years ago, the only thing I wanted was a piece of artwork which had hung on the wall as you entered her kitchen ever since I could remember.  It reminded me of her because it reminded me of being at her house.  Recently, I visited the home of a cousin and saw a piece of artwork that had been in HER mother's home for years.  Even though I was quite young when I last was in that home, I remembered that painting and where it had been hanging.

Art, like music, can have a big impression on our minds.  

If you were to visit our home, over half the artwork on our walls is related to the Gospel.  From the poster of the Sacred Grove in our entry to the painting of the temple we were married in to the 9 Be's over the fireplace in the family room.  Even upstairs is a poster in the hall that says, "All I Need to Know I Learned in Primary".  Right under it is a wooden plaque that says, "I am a child of God".  

Even the prints by Danish artist Mad Stage that hang over our fireplace in the living room are special to us because my husband served his mission in Denmark.  

Most of them mean very little to visitors in our home.  Occasionally, someone will ask about the temple painting or read the "Home Rules" by the front door or look at the photos adorning the mat around the large framed "Proclamation on the Family".  But most people just see it as artwork.  

We hope that our kids will remember these things in our home and that they reinforce the gospel-centric nature of it and that when they leave home someday, they will desire to either take some of our artwork with them or get their own.

Recently, we redecorated the bonus room and turned it from a playroom to a "Man Cave" for our adolescent boys.  It's a place for them to go hang-out with their friends.  The colors of the room are kind of a bright khaki green and chocolate brown.  In trying to decide what to put on the walls, we came across these VERY COOL "Real Hero" posters.  We ordered 6 of the large posters and today I framed them (thanks to Michaels for having their frames 40% off this week!) and put them upstairs.  While I was carrying them up, the non-LDS boy from across the street kept saying, "Who's that?"  Every time I came up with one, the boys told him the story.  They had a discussion about David and Goliath and Daniel and the Lions.  When I brought up the framed poster of Ammon, my boys filled the non-LDS boy in on ALL the gory details to which he responded, "COOL!!!"

Both of my boys want me to order more so they can put some up in their own rooms.  How can I say, "No"?  

There are many worthy works of art to adorn the walls of our home.  When I was growing up, there was very little in the way of LDS-themed art although there were many wonderful LDS artists.  I'm so happy that we can now easily and inexpensively cover the walls of our home with pictures that remind our children of the gospel and give them opportunities to share the gospel with their friends.  

I hope in the future, they will desire to take some of these paintings and pictures to their own home and that our grandchildren will have the same fondness and recollection of the things hanging on the walls in our home.  

Hair Cut Hassles

My oldest is almost 12 and soon he'll get the Priesthood. One thing Mark and I decided a long time ago was that the "missionary haircut" would be one of the hills we were going to pick to die on. Parents of girls have to deal with modesty issues and parents of boys often have to fight hair length. What's weird is that I constantly point out to my kids that long hair is the MINORITY. Most boys have a decently short hair-cut. But, they see it the other way - as if EVERYONE but them has shaggy hair hanging in their eyes.

So, every time we say, "time for a haircut!", we get a mini-revolt now. It's not that we make them get a buzz cut - it just must be off their collars and over their ears without any funkiness (like a Mohawk).

We came up with a plan to let our boys exercise their "agency". Notice I didn't say, "Free agency" but it's never free - there's always a trade-off. Well, here's the trade-off. I told them that they could have longer hair, but if they choose to let their hair grow, they will not play computer games, their handhelds or the Wii as long as their hair exceeds parental guidelines. It was their choice. Did they want the long hair bad enough to give up all their games?

Of course they both immediately cried foul on that one. But, I reminded them that I was giving them an option to choose. I wasn't going to say, "no long hair" and impose that on them, but I was going to make it a hard choice for them.

So far, the hair is short...

Al Gore vs. God

I'll admit it, I'm totally annoyed by environmentalism. Especially annoying to me is the extreme kind that tells me I can't use a plastic bag or drive to the store in my own car or fly anywhere without "paying for my sin" to some environmental taxation scam company. I have a joke that I'll be the last mini-van on the road with the last plastic bags in existence in the back of it. Tell me I can't do something and I'll do it MORE just to prove I can! I will "save the planet" only when it saves me time and money. If something is cheaper and easier AND saves me money (and just HAPPENS to be environmentally sound at the same time by total accident), I will do it. But I won't drive a more expensive car or use expensive light bulbs I have to clean up with a Hazmat suit on if they break or carry a pile of canvas bags into the store.

I believe that while we have a responsibility to be a good steward over this beautiful earth, that we were also meant to use the resources God put here for man. If "climate change" was going to happen, it would have happened in the industrial age when factories and homes spewed forth such thick black smoke that it created the famed "London Fog" and choked the air in most industrial areas of the U.S. Our air is so much cleaner now, yet, we are constantly warned that we will all draw our last breath of air any day now if we don't stop doing what we're doing. The fact of the matter is that "Panic Pays" and Al Gore has built an empire around it.

I was reading in the Doctrine and Covenants the other day and came across an interesting scripture in section 104. Verse 17 says, "For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves".

That seems to me to settle the question of whether or not we are pillaging the planet. Oil fields which were expected to dry up many years ago, are now refilling with oil. Water is replenished each year. That doesn't mean there aren't struggling areas of the world devoid of these natural resources, but, that is, for whatever reason, God's plan for that part of the world. God tells us in that single verse that "there is ENOUGH and to SPARE" to take care of the people of the world. When you read further, we are told that we must impart to the poor - which most of us do.

I don't begrudge those who want to live their lives according to the gospel of Al Gore - but I DO begrudge those who tell me I HAVE to live that way, also. And I REALLY resent those who tell me that I have to live a certain way while they don't (such as Al Gore). If the earth is changing, it is not solely the responsibility of man. God is in control and we know, as Latter-Day Saints, that the seasons of the earth will change among other things, such as an increase in natural disasters, as we move closer to the Second Coming.

To once again quote the scriptures, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (not Al Gore) and I will continue to live my life as a good steward over the earth with the knowledge that my Heavenly Father will provide for our well-being as His beloved children and that HE, not man, controls the destiny of our planet.

L. Tom Perry | For the Strength of the Lord: The Image of the Church | May 01, 2009 | BYU Broadcasting

L. Tom Perry | For the Strength of the Lord: The Image of the Church | May 01, 2009 | BYU Broadcasting

Shared via AddThis

Silly Soapy Fun on a Sunday Afternoon

I woke up from a nap a couple of Sundays ago to find that Mark had gotten the kids going on soap carving. They love to carve things with their scout knives. He told them they had to carve either something for me or something appropriate for Sunday. So, Mark carved Joseph Smith into a bar of Irish Spring. For some reason, I had a hard time putting it in the shower...