Virtue and her sister, Modesty

As the mother of sons, I am concerned about virtue and modesty as much as a mother of daughters. My sons will date girls some day and I want them to choose girls that are much more than what they look like on the outside.

We half-jokingly tell our boys (they are still pretty young) that teen-age girls who feel that manicures and fancy hair-cuts are necessities of life are going to have a hard time being happy if you can't supply those things to them - especially while in college when you SHOULD be driving the $600 car and sitting on a couch from DI. High-maintenance girls make high-maintenance wives most of the time and that usually causes stress to their husbands as they try to keep up with wants that have seemingly been mistaken for absolute needs.

But, the modesty and virtue thing is so very important to the young men and young women of the church. Young women should respect their bodies enough to cover them appropriately and they should consider that it's hard for a young man to feel the Spirit when they are visually assaulted at church by tight fitting, short or low-cut dresses. Not that young women need to come to church dressed like Amish girls, but, they should consider how they would dress in front of the Savior if He were there that day. These young men hold the Priesthood - which is authority from our Heavenly Father. Should we not treat them with the same respect?

I have watched American Idol the last few weeks and "Bikini Girl" baffles me. Why would a young woman overtly use her body for gain in the way that girl did? In my opinion, she lacks self-respect.

Lately, there has been an explosion of bikini hut coffee places in our area. Some of them are even pushing the limits farther to the edge and wearing nothing but bikini bottoms and pasties. What would make a young woman want to work in a place where her body was the draw? Interestingly, a problem that has arisen is that a number of male flashers have been driving through these bikini huts. And, even more surprising is the outrage by the public and these baristsas that men are doing this. What's the girl in the window doing? She's flashing her body parts to please someone isn't she? How is that much different?

The Strength of Youth pamphlet is very clear about modesty and clothing standards:

Servants of God have always counseled his children to dress modestly to show respect for him and for themselves. Because the way you dress sends messages about yourself to others and often influences the way you and others act, you should dress in such a way as to bring out the best in yourself and those around you. However, if you wear an immodest bathing suit because it's "the style," it sends a message that you are using your body to get attention and approval, and that modesty is not important.

Immodest clothing includes short shorts, tight pants, and other revealing attire. Young women should refrain from wearing off-the-shoulder, low-cut, or revealing clothes. Young men should similarly maintain modesty in their dress. All should avoid tight fitting or revealing clothes and extremes in clothing and appearance.

As Latter-day Saint youth, you can also show respect for the Lord and yourselves by dressing appropriately for Church meetings and activities, whether on Sunday or during the week. If you are not sure what's appropriate, ask for guidelines from your parents, advisers, and bishop.

My hope is that my boys will seek after girls who know how to dress modestly AS WELL AS stylishly. There is nothing wrong with fashion, unless you lay your standards aside to be a slave to it. I want my boys to seek after girls who have the sure knowledge that they are daughters of our Heavenly Father and therefore, show him gratitude for their bodies by covering them appropriately as a sign of respect.