I was reading a message board tonight for LDS women and joined in a discussion about tithing. Someone had asked about their 3 year old paying tithing on a birthday gift of money. I suggested that she definitely use this as a opportunity to plant the seeds of obedience and faith in the child by having him help her fill out the slip, put the money in the envelope and hand it to the Bishop. Then, have a Family Home Evening on the Law of Tithing to reinforce the point and help them understand why we pay tithing.
I was sort of surprised at some of the responses that followed. Some said you didn't have to pay tithing on gifts, just on money you earned. Honestly, I've never seen that exception anywhere. It simply says, "Ten percent of your increase." For a 3 year old, a birthday gift of money is probably "increase" since he didn't have it yesterday.
But several said that she shouldn't just do it but instead sit down and explain what tithing is to the 3 year old and ask him if he WANTED to pay his tithing and therefore give him his agency to decide.
What do you think a 3 year old with a five dollar bill in his hand will say when you tell him you are going to take some of it? The answer will be "No". He'll say the same thing at 4 and at 5 and at 6 and at 7, 8, 9, 10, etc. What would YOU say if someone sat you down and said, "You don't HAVE to pay tithing, it's your choice. But, would you like to give away $10,000 this year on your $100,000 income?"
Now, of COURSE we all have our agency to pay tithing or not. But tithing is a Law of God. So, if we chose to NOT pay our tithing, it's not as simple as using our agency, we are literally disobeying our Father in Heaven. It's not a correct use of our agency to be disobedient.
So, what if this same mother sat her child down at 5 and said, "It's not mandatory that you go to Kindergarten, so I'm going to give you your agency to choose. Do you want to go to school or stay home and watch Power Rangers all day?" Or at 16, "Yes, that's a one-way street, but you have your agency to CHOOSE whether or not you are going to obey that law. If you think it's convenient to go the wrong way to get where you need to be, then go ahead and drive the wrong way on it."
We would never have an agency discussion with our kids on the laws of the land, yet, it seems that many are quick to pull out that "agency clause" when it comes to the Laws of God.
Yes, my kids have their agency. And they use it. But, they also know that we EXPECT them to follow the laws of God as much as we EXPECT them to follow the Laws of the Land.
We EXPECT them, as baptized members of the church, to fast on the first Sunday of the month. If they chose not to, which they do on a regular basis, they must feed themselves. They will often go into another room to eat because they KNOW they are being disobedient. We EXPECT them to go on a mission. We don't EVER say, "If you CHOOSE to go on a mission." Instead, we say, "WHEN you go on your mission." We never phrase it as if they COULD choose because in choosing, they aren't choosing what's "right" for them, they are choosing to be disobedient. At 19 can they CHOOSE to not go? Of course they can, but we aren't going to encourage that thought at their young age. They'll have to come to that on their own based on the choices they make in their teenage years. It is a commandment that every young man serve a mission. There are no "my situation is different" clauses for a healthy 19-year-old young man.
So, the idea of letting a child CHOOSE to pay tithing is as odd to me as letting a child choose whether or not they can steal a candy bar from a store. Can they choose to NOT pay it at some future date? Yes, they can. But as long as I have the opportunity to plant the seed in them that tithing is a law and we just pay it, no matter what, I will take that opportunity. I would not want to build into my children's minds that the Laws of God always have an "opt-out" clause. There is no "opting-out", there is only disobedience.
I was sort of surprised at some of the responses that followed. Some said you didn't have to pay tithing on gifts, just on money you earned. Honestly, I've never seen that exception anywhere. It simply says, "Ten percent of your increase." For a 3 year old, a birthday gift of money is probably "increase" since he didn't have it yesterday.
But several said that she shouldn't just do it but instead sit down and explain what tithing is to the 3 year old and ask him if he WANTED to pay his tithing and therefore give him his agency to decide.
What do you think a 3 year old with a five dollar bill in his hand will say when you tell him you are going to take some of it? The answer will be "No". He'll say the same thing at 4 and at 5 and at 6 and at 7, 8, 9, 10, etc. What would YOU say if someone sat you down and said, "You don't HAVE to pay tithing, it's your choice. But, would you like to give away $10,000 this year on your $100,000 income?"
Now, of COURSE we all have our agency to pay tithing or not. But tithing is a Law of God. So, if we chose to NOT pay our tithing, it's not as simple as using our agency, we are literally disobeying our Father in Heaven. It's not a correct use of our agency to be disobedient.
So, what if this same mother sat her child down at 5 and said, "It's not mandatory that you go to Kindergarten, so I'm going to give you your agency to choose. Do you want to go to school or stay home and watch Power Rangers all day?" Or at 16, "Yes, that's a one-way street, but you have your agency to CHOOSE whether or not you are going to obey that law. If you think it's convenient to go the wrong way to get where you need to be, then go ahead and drive the wrong way on it."
We would never have an agency discussion with our kids on the laws of the land, yet, it seems that many are quick to pull out that "agency clause" when it comes to the Laws of God.
Yes, my kids have their agency. And they use it. But, they also know that we EXPECT them to follow the laws of God as much as we EXPECT them to follow the Laws of the Land.
We EXPECT them, as baptized members of the church, to fast on the first Sunday of the month. If they chose not to, which they do on a regular basis, they must feed themselves. They will often go into another room to eat because they KNOW they are being disobedient. We EXPECT them to go on a mission. We don't EVER say, "If you CHOOSE to go on a mission." Instead, we say, "WHEN you go on your mission." We never phrase it as if they COULD choose because in choosing, they aren't choosing what's "right" for them, they are choosing to be disobedient. At 19 can they CHOOSE to not go? Of course they can, but we aren't going to encourage that thought at their young age. They'll have to come to that on their own based on the choices they make in their teenage years. It is a commandment that every young man serve a mission. There are no "my situation is different" clauses for a healthy 19-year-old young man.
So, the idea of letting a child CHOOSE to pay tithing is as odd to me as letting a child choose whether or not they can steal a candy bar from a store. Can they choose to NOT pay it at some future date? Yes, they can. But as long as I have the opportunity to plant the seed in them that tithing is a law and we just pay it, no matter what, I will take that opportunity. I would not want to build into my children's minds that the Laws of God always have an "opt-out" clause. There is no "opting-out", there is only disobedience.
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1 comment:
Amen sister! AMEN!
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