Thursday, February 5, 2009

Enduring to the End

I love this BLOG ENTRY from Dr. Laura. What a great point of view. When Mark was in the hospital for 6 weeks the summer of 2007, I was never more depressed, scared and exhausted - especially the first 10 days when they didn't know what he had and didn't know if he'd live. The weeks after he got home were similarly taxing on me because it was like having a 200 pound baby in the house. He couldn't do anything or go anywhere without my help and they didn't know if he'd ever walk again. I had severe anxiety over the possibility of having a paraplegic spouse for the rest of my life due to a viral illness. It all seemed so unfair because it wasn't like he had done something stupid to cause his spinal cord injury.

On one occasion, I thought about getting some sleeping pills. On another occasion, I thought about anxiety and depression medication. But, something inside of me said, "You're tough. Tough it out." Prayer also helped as did my faith in the Priesthood blessing that Mark received that promised him very strongly that he would recover completely.

Even now, nearly 18 months later, I still have what could be called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome over the whole incident. I can hardly think about it without getting anxious and teary-eyed and a little fearful that it will happen again someday. But, a voice inside of me says, "He's fine... get over it"

I have often listened to Dr. Laura tell people that we have gotten to the point in society where we have the notion that we should not have to FEEL anything for more than 30 seconds. We cover our sadness, anxiety, grief, fear and anger with drugs that make us feel nothing at all - including joy and happiness. When we feel nothing, we don't have to deal with anything. Not that depression isn't a real condition. I just think a whole lot of us mistake depression for old fashioned emotions during temporary situations that we need to learn to deal with rather than medicating ourselves against. I think in those instances, prayer and a Priesthood blessing can do more to help us endure than a bottle of pills or a therapist's couch. If we have the faith to try.

There are some great talks on depression at LDS.org. You can see the list HERE.

1 comment:

Musicmom-Amy said...

I have to say I loved that blog entry when I read that this morning too. It's so, so true. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and trial during Mark's illness. And really, isn't it the feelings during those difficult times that make us stronger in the long run?