Hair Cut Hassles

My oldest is almost 12 and soon he'll get the Priesthood. One thing Mark and I decided a long time ago was that the "missionary haircut" would be one of the hills we were going to pick to die on. Parents of girls have to deal with modesty issues and parents of boys often have to fight hair length. What's weird is that I constantly point out to my kids that long hair is the MINORITY. Most boys have a decently short hair-cut. But, they see it the other way - as if EVERYONE but them has shaggy hair hanging in their eyes.

So, every time we say, "time for a haircut!", we get a mini-revolt now. It's not that we make them get a buzz cut - it just must be off their collars and over their ears without any funkiness (like a Mohawk).

We came up with a plan to let our boys exercise their "agency". Notice I didn't say, "Free agency" but it's never free - there's always a trade-off. Well, here's the trade-off. I told them that they could have longer hair, but if they choose to let their hair grow, they will not play computer games, their handhelds or the Wii as long as their hair exceeds parental guidelines. It was their choice. Did they want the long hair bad enough to give up all their games?

Of course they both immediately cried foul on that one. But, I reminded them that I was giving them an option to choose. I wasn't going to say, "no long hair" and impose that on them, but I was going to make it a hard choice for them.

So far, the hair is short...

Al Gore vs. God

I'll admit it, I'm totally annoyed by environmentalism. Especially annoying to me is the extreme kind that tells me I can't use a plastic bag or drive to the store in my own car or fly anywhere without "paying for my sin" to some environmental taxation scam company. I have a joke that I'll be the last mini-van on the road with the last plastic bags in existence in the back of it. Tell me I can't do something and I'll do it MORE just to prove I can! I will "save the planet" only when it saves me time and money. If something is cheaper and easier AND saves me money (and just HAPPENS to be environmentally sound at the same time by total accident), I will do it. But I won't drive a more expensive car or use expensive light bulbs I have to clean up with a Hazmat suit on if they break or carry a pile of canvas bags into the store.

I believe that while we have a responsibility to be a good steward over this beautiful earth, that we were also meant to use the resources God put here for man. If "climate change" was going to happen, it would have happened in the industrial age when factories and homes spewed forth such thick black smoke that it created the famed "London Fog" and choked the air in most industrial areas of the U.S. Our air is so much cleaner now, yet, we are constantly warned that we will all draw our last breath of air any day now if we don't stop doing what we're doing. The fact of the matter is that "Panic Pays" and Al Gore has built an empire around it.

I was reading in the Doctrine and Covenants the other day and came across an interesting scripture in section 104. Verse 17 says, "For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves".

That seems to me to settle the question of whether or not we are pillaging the planet. Oil fields which were expected to dry up many years ago, are now refilling with oil. Water is replenished each year. That doesn't mean there aren't struggling areas of the world devoid of these natural resources, but, that is, for whatever reason, God's plan for that part of the world. God tells us in that single verse that "there is ENOUGH and to SPARE" to take care of the people of the world. When you read further, we are told that we must impart to the poor - which most of us do.

I don't begrudge those who want to live their lives according to the gospel of Al Gore - but I DO begrudge those who tell me I HAVE to live that way, also. And I REALLY resent those who tell me that I have to live a certain way while they don't (such as Al Gore). If the earth is changing, it is not solely the responsibility of man. God is in control and we know, as Latter-Day Saints, that the seasons of the earth will change among other things, such as an increase in natural disasters, as we move closer to the Second Coming.

To once again quote the scriptures, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (not Al Gore) and I will continue to live my life as a good steward over the earth with the knowledge that my Heavenly Father will provide for our well-being as His beloved children and that HE, not man, controls the destiny of our planet.

L. Tom Perry | For the Strength of the Lord: The Image of the Church | May 01, 2009 | BYU Broadcasting

L. Tom Perry | For the Strength of the Lord: The Image of the Church | May 01, 2009 | BYU Broadcasting

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Silly Soapy Fun on a Sunday Afternoon

I woke up from a nap a couple of Sundays ago to find that Mark had gotten the kids going on soap carving. They love to carve things with their scout knives. He told them they had to carve either something for me or something appropriate for Sunday. So, Mark carved Joseph Smith into a bar of Irish Spring. For some reason, I had a hard time putting it in the shower...

CREATE!

I own a business that is all about creativity! I love this inspirational video based on a talk President Uchtdorf gave at the General Relief Society Broadcast last Fall. CREATE something great this week!

Home and Visiting Teaching

I need to develop a list - 101 Uses for Visiting Teachers or something like that. Okay, I probably couldn't come up with 101 uses, but there are quite a few.

Visiting teaching is so much more than visiting or receiving a visit once a month. It's, as the LDS.org Relief Society website says, "watchcare" over those we are assigned to.

How many of us think to turn to our visiting teachers FIRST when we need something? Need some babysitting while you go to a doctor appointment? Call your visiting teachers! Do you need to borrow a cup of sugar? Call your visiting teachers! Need a ride to the temple? Call your visiting teachers!

And, as visiting teachers assigned to care for those we visit, we should gladly give the service. If we are unable to ourselves, we should be wiling to help her find someone who CAN help. Maybe you can't babysit at that time but know someone who will be able to. Don't just say, "No, I can't." Say, "let me give you some ideas on who might be able to." It's essentially the same as providing good customer service. Only, the master we are serving is not a retailer, but the Lord. We should have a deep desire to represent Him well.

As the Bishop's house, we sometimes get phone calls from ward members with requests that really could be handled by home and visiting teachers. Most of the time, they didn't even think to call them. We have come to the conclusion that it's because many people either don't know who they are or don't want to "bother" them. Well, you should be no bother to them and they have more stewardship over your care than the Bishop does.

Don't know who your home or visiting teachers are? Ask! Ask the Elders Quorum President or High Priest Group Leader or Relief Society President. Don't see them? Invite them over. Seriously! Catch them at church and say, "We're free tonight. Would you like to come over and do your home teaching?" Mark has done that many times. We often promise them some of his famous chocolate chip cookies if they come. Sometimes the reason people don't come is that they haven't come in SO LONG that they are embarrassed about it now. You can help them get back in the swing of things by inviting them over. If they don't come that month, do it again. You should not be ashamed in asking them to perform their priesthood duty.

I really, truly believe that if members of the church did their home and visiting teaching visits every month and then took it a step farther and truly ministered and watched over those they visited, that people and wards would be transformed into Zion. Love for one another would dramatically increase and gossip and back-biting would dramatically decrease.

Visiting those we are assigned to is really a very simple thing to do. Let's all shoot for 100% this and every month from now on. Then let us learn to truly love and care for those we visit by looking for opportunities to serve them - even if it's not convenient or sometimes even hard.

Temporal Laws, Celestial Laws and Agency

I was reading a message board tonight for LDS women and joined in a discussion about tithing. Someone had asked about their 3 year old paying tithing on a birthday gift of money. I suggested that she definitely use this as a opportunity to plant the seeds of obedience and faith in the child by having him help her fill out the slip, put the money in the envelope and hand it to the Bishop. Then, have a Family Home Evening on the Law of Tithing to reinforce the point and help them understand why we pay tithing.

I was sort of surprised at some of the responses that followed. Some said you didn't have to pay tithing on gifts, just on money you earned. Honestly, I've never seen that exception anywhere. It simply says, "Ten percent of your increase." For a 3 year old, a birthday gift of money is probably "increase" since he didn't have it yesterday.

But several said that she shouldn't just do it but instead sit down and explain what tithing is to the 3 year old and ask him if he WANTED to pay his tithing and therefore give him his agency to decide.

What do you think a 3 year old with a five dollar bill in his hand will say when you tell him you are going to take some of it? The answer will be "No". He'll say the same thing at 4 and at 5 and at 6 and at 7, 8, 9, 10, etc. What would YOU say if someone sat you down and said, "You don't HAVE to pay tithing, it's your choice. But, would you like to give away $10,000 this year on your $100,000 income?"

Now, of COURSE we all have our agency to pay tithing or not. But tithing is a Law of God. So, if we chose to NOT pay our tithing, it's not as simple as using our agency, we are literally disobeying our Father in Heaven. It's not a correct use of our agency to be disobedient.

So, what if this same mother sat her child down at 5 and said, "It's not mandatory that you go to Kindergarten, so I'm going to give you your agency to choose. Do you want to go to school or stay home and watch Power Rangers all day?" Or at 16, "Yes, that's a one-way street, but you have your agency to CHOOSE whether or not you are going to obey that law. If you think it's convenient to go the wrong way to get where you need to be, then go ahead and drive the wrong way on it."

We would never have an agency discussion with our kids on the laws of the land, yet, it seems that many are quick to pull out that "agency clause" when it comes to the Laws of God.

Yes, my kids have their agency. And they use it. But, they also know that we EXPECT them to follow the laws of God as much as we EXPECT them to follow the Laws of the Land.

We EXPECT them, as baptized members of the church, to fast on the first Sunday of the month. If they chose not to, which they do on a regular basis, they must feed themselves. They will often go into another room to eat because they KNOW they are being disobedient. We EXPECT them to go on a mission. We don't EVER say, "If you CHOOSE to go on a mission." Instead, we say, "WHEN you go on your mission." We never phrase it as if they COULD choose because in choosing, they aren't choosing what's "right" for them, they are choosing to be disobedient. At 19 can they CHOOSE to not go? Of course they can, but we aren't going to encourage that thought at their young age. They'll have to come to that on their own based on the choices they make in their teenage years. It is a commandment that every young man serve a mission. There are no "my situation is different" clauses for a healthy 19-year-old young man.

So, the idea of letting a child CHOOSE to pay tithing is as odd to me as letting a child choose whether or not they can steal a candy bar from a store. Can they choose to NOT pay it at some future date? Yes, they can. But as long as I have the opportunity to plant the seed in them that tithing is a law and we just pay it, no matter what, I will take that opportunity. I would not want to build into my children's minds that the Laws of God always have an "opt-out" clause. There is no "opting-out", there is only disobedience.

Have a wonderful Easter

And may we be eternally grateful for that which He did so willingly for us.

Stepping it up

Mark taught the combined Priesthood/Relief Society lesson a few weeks ago and as I sat there watching him, I was thinking about how much time he spends on his calling as Bishop each week. Then, I started to think about how much time the rest of us spend doing "church things" each week. That can mean service, visiting and home teaching, preparing lessons, etc. I'm not talking about showing up to something, I'm talking about "put your shoulder to the wheel" kind of church work. Honestly, as I was thinking about myself, I was pretty ashamed at how little it really was relative to the hours in a week.

Church lasts 3 hours each week. Of those three hours, how many are we engaged in service as in a calling and how many are we just participating in a class? Once you get past Sunday (or even past those three hours), how many hours do we REALLY spend in Christ-like service or on our callings? One hour? Two hours?

As I sat there watching my husband who probably gives 20 hours a week outside of Sunday (which is about 8 hours of work many weeks), I realized that the City of Enoch didn't get translated because the church leadership was doing a lot of work. The City of Enoch got translated because the PEOPLE were working hard as a whole body.

What if we gave just one more hour each week to the Lord? What if we reached out to people we aren't already assigned to visit? What if we looked for ways to help and lift others?

We are ALL busy. Mark is busy - he works 45 hours a week and has a 90 minute daily commute, 2 kids and a wife. Honestly, he has very little leisure time and few hobbies beyond reading. His calling literally consumes his free time. He spent 2 hours on the phone last Monday night and then had to make a trip to the church. We crammed FHE around it all and he finally dropped into bed at 11pm. Yet, he does it - without complaint.

I am going to challenge myself to step it up and reach out to serve more. Really, there's no excuse for not doing that. We have been told to "love one another" and love is a verb. There are so many hours in our week that are pretty much just wasted. How much better would every ward in the church be if we turned off our TV's, computers and video games and set aside our magazines and iPods and spent time doing true Christ-like service in our wards and communities?

Self-Reliance

Mark and I went to a wonderful training last night on the Church Welfare System. The central point was that everything we do in the church with regards to temporal support should be with the aim of helping those members learn self-reliance. I think that's a principle that gets lost because the government welfare system doesn't do that at all.

On the way home, we determined that there are really three groups of people in the church who might need or want assistance:

1. Those who are normally self-reliant but have a very temporary issue they need help dealing with such as a job loss or illness
2. Those who have chronic needs due to their lack of knowledge or application of self-reliance skills - they need to be taught those principles in addition to receiving short-term financial help. They simply lack the skills they need to get out of their situation but have a desire to do so.
   
3. Those who simply have learned to be consumers of the world and have no interest in learning to "fish", they just want to eat.

There were several talks shown on a DVD at this training - Elder Hales spoke on self-reliance. I loved several things he said:

"Only when we are self-reliant can we truly emulate the Savior in serving and blessing others." This is so true - people who aren't taking care of themselves have a hard time serving others through visiting teaching or callings in the church. We can't be Christ-like when we are relying on others for our needs - physical or spiritual. He also said that "our ability to serve is increased or diminished by the level of our self-reliance."

He quoted President Marion G. Romney who said in 1982: "Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak."

Members of the church need to do all they can to be self-reliant which Elder Hales defines as, "taking responsibility for our own spiritual and temporal welfare". He also says part of self-reliance is also being able to care for those whom Heavenly Father has entrusted to our care. I would define that as our families (both immediate and extended) as well as those we are called to serve through Visiting and Home teaching and other callings. If we aren't prepared and can't take care of ourselves, then how can we ever take care of others. It's a bit like the emergency instructions you receive on an airplane prior to take-off. They tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.

This topic has been on our minds in our home even before we went to this meeting last night. First, because there are some challenges in our lives right now that are lightened greatly by the fact that we can say that we are self-reliant in nearly every way. We stay out of debt. We purchase extra food for storage. We save money. We rely on and show gratitude to the Lord. It's true that when you are prepared, there is very little to fear.

We have also been thinking about this because we have a child who is not very self-reliant. He is more apt to cast blame for his own poor actions and create a spirit of contention and frustration in our home while he does everything to avoid taking responsibility for his failings. We look at him at his age now and then think forward 25 years and we see an adult who isn't self-reliant and is unhappy but fails to see who's really at fault. So, we are working hard to help him change his ways. That has included some pretty harsh lessons recently, but we have had to make some serious impressions on him that HE has the power to change his situation. No one is inflicting his problems on him, he is bringing them on himself by making poor choices and he alone has the power to make his situation better.

We hope that at the end and through the tough love parenting, that we raise a young man who has the strength to work out his own problems and understand that what happens to him in life is a direct result of his own current or past choices.

I hope some of the talks we heard last night will make it into lessons and other magazines. They were very good and had some excellent reminders and points about taking care of ourselves and those around us who are unable to care for themselves. But, it also made the point that the goal of every member of the church should be to take responsibility for all aspects of their lives so that they might enjoy the peace and happiness that comes with such a choice.

I love this You Tube Channel

Deep Thoughts about Bishoprics

A friend said this to me about his LARGE family of 9. It made perfect sense to me for Bishops, too. Seriously, they want to do everything 5 minutes after you make the request, but sometimes, the phone call will take 3 days to get returned or the calling will take 3 weeks to get issued. That's just how it goes for most Bishops and their counselors.

There is so much to do and so little time to do it and still have a balanced life and not run faster than they have strength. At times, Mark is overwhelmed by everything he is SUPPOSED to be doing. It seems completely impossible but he does the best he can.

A Thought For Visiting Teaching

We are having our Visiting Teaching Conference next week and the theme is "Angels". I found this quote that I just love. It's truly the spirit of visiting teaching. We must embrace our partners and those that we visit in order to "fly".

Virtue and her sister, Modesty

As the mother of sons, I am concerned about virtue and modesty as much as a mother of daughters. My sons will date girls some day and I want them to choose girls that are much more than what they look like on the outside.

We half-jokingly tell our boys (they are still pretty young) that teen-age girls who feel that manicures and fancy hair-cuts are necessities of life are going to have a hard time being happy if you can't supply those things to them - especially while in college when you SHOULD be driving the $600 car and sitting on a couch from DI. High-maintenance girls make high-maintenance wives most of the time and that usually causes stress to their husbands as they try to keep up with wants that have seemingly been mistaken for absolute needs.

But, the modesty and virtue thing is so very important to the young men and young women of the church. Young women should respect their bodies enough to cover them appropriately and they should consider that it's hard for a young man to feel the Spirit when they are visually assaulted at church by tight fitting, short or low-cut dresses. Not that young women need to come to church dressed like Amish girls, but, they should consider how they would dress in front of the Savior if He were there that day. These young men hold the Priesthood - which is authority from our Heavenly Father. Should we not treat them with the same respect?

I have watched American Idol the last few weeks and "Bikini Girl" baffles me. Why would a young woman overtly use her body for gain in the way that girl did? In my opinion, she lacks self-respect.

Lately, there has been an explosion of bikini hut coffee places in our area. Some of them are even pushing the limits farther to the edge and wearing nothing but bikini bottoms and pasties. What would make a young woman want to work in a place where her body was the draw? Interestingly, a problem that has arisen is that a number of male flashers have been driving through these bikini huts. And, even more surprising is the outrage by the public and these baristsas that men are doing this. What's the girl in the window doing? She's flashing her body parts to please someone isn't she? How is that much different?

The Strength of Youth pamphlet is very clear about modesty and clothing standards:

Servants of God have always counseled his children to dress modestly to show respect for him and for themselves. Because the way you dress sends messages about yourself to others and often influences the way you and others act, you should dress in such a way as to bring out the best in yourself and those around you. However, if you wear an immodest bathing suit because it's "the style," it sends a message that you are using your body to get attention and approval, and that modesty is not important.

Immodest clothing includes short shorts, tight pants, and other revealing attire. Young women should refrain from wearing off-the-shoulder, low-cut, or revealing clothes. Young men should similarly maintain modesty in their dress. All should avoid tight fitting or revealing clothes and extremes in clothing and appearance.

As Latter-day Saint youth, you can also show respect for the Lord and yourselves by dressing appropriately for Church meetings and activities, whether on Sunday or during the week. If you are not sure what's appropriate, ask for guidelines from your parents, advisers, and bishop.

My hope is that my boys will seek after girls who know how to dress modestly AS WELL AS stylishly. There is nothing wrong with fashion, unless you lay your standards aside to be a slave to it. I want my boys to seek after girls who have the sure knowledge that they are daughters of our Heavenly Father and therefore, show him gratitude for their bodies by covering them appropriately as a sign of respect.

Enduring to the End

I love this BLOG ENTRY from Dr. Laura. What a great point of view. When Mark was in the hospital for 6 weeks the summer of 2007, I was never more depressed, scared and exhausted - especially the first 10 days when they didn't know what he had and didn't know if he'd live. The weeks after he got home were similarly taxing on me because it was like having a 200 pound baby in the house. He couldn't do anything or go anywhere without my help and they didn't know if he'd ever walk again. I had severe anxiety over the possibility of having a paraplegic spouse for the rest of my life due to a viral illness. It all seemed so unfair because it wasn't like he had done something stupid to cause his spinal cord injury.

On one occasion, I thought about getting some sleeping pills. On another occasion, I thought about anxiety and depression medication. But, something inside of me said, "You're tough. Tough it out." Prayer also helped as did my faith in the Priesthood blessing that Mark received that promised him very strongly that he would recover completely.

Even now, nearly 18 months later, I still have what could be called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome over the whole incident. I can hardly think about it without getting anxious and teary-eyed and a little fearful that it will happen again someday. But, a voice inside of me says, "He's fine... get over it"

I have often listened to Dr. Laura tell people that we have gotten to the point in society where we have the notion that we should not have to FEEL anything for more than 30 seconds. We cover our sadness, anxiety, grief, fear and anger with drugs that make us feel nothing at all - including joy and happiness. When we feel nothing, we don't have to deal with anything. Not that depression isn't a real condition. I just think a whole lot of us mistake depression for old fashioned emotions during temporary situations that we need to learn to deal with rather than medicating ourselves against. I think in those instances, prayer and a Priesthood blessing can do more to help us endure than a bottle of pills or a therapist's couch. If we have the faith to try.

There are some great talks on depression at LDS.org. You can see the list HERE.

Super Bowl {free} Sunday

We aren't watching the Super Bowl today. We are recording it and the kids will get to check the score in the morning before school so they can have "street cred" with all the boys at school who will be talking about who won.

I think the Second Coming will take place on a Super Bowl Sunday. And, I think many members of the church will be caught by surprise, in their football jersey with hot wing sauce dripping from their chins. They'll say, "But hey, we blessed the Seven Layer Taco Dip, doesn't that count for anything?!" And, if He comes before the final score, I imagine that there will be much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I love our Stake President. He purposely (I think anyway) plans Stake General Priesthood Meeting on Super Bowl Sunday every year. As a former Bishop said to me today, "It's a 'sheep' and 'goats' kind of thing." You should hear the moaning and complaining about it to Mark. Mark's answer is always, "It's your choice - your priesthood duty or the Super Bowl."

At our house, we are recording it and although it will have less excitement next week for our boys, they will still get to watch it. In fact, it will be better because we can buzz through all the boring, "standing around doing nothing" parts that Football games always have too much of.

At least our ward meets at 9am. Nobody had to cut out early for a "family obligation" or try to look at the score on their Blackberry without anyone seeing. If the Second Coming happens today, at least our ward can say, "Hey, we went to church first!"

Murmuring...

I must admit that after this week, I'm in the murmuring mood. I wish people understood the tremendous toll having a Bishop in the house takes on a family. He misses much of our lives because he's either on the phone or gone to a meeting or visiting someone.

If people truly knew how we have literally sacrificed Mark for this period of time and how it affects our kids and the relationship between Mark and I, they would spend a little less time criticizing, a little more time solving their own problems and a few more hours on their own callings. All of those things would have given us back HOURS of time this week.

I can't wait for a new week. I'm over this one and it's only Thursday night. I shall go repent immediately, but sometimes, I need to wallow for just a minute in my murmurings.

Next time you pick up the phone to dial the Bishop's house, pause and reflect on whether or not he TRULY needs to be involved in whatever you're calling him for. Is there a home teacher, visiting teacher, quorum leader or friend who can help you, instead? I know every Bishop's family in the church would appreciate that little reflection before you dial.

Just One More

How much better would your life be if you did just one more of something really good? A few weeks ago, our Relief Society President challenged us to go to the Temple just ONE MORE TIME in 2009. Today, our Relief Society teacher challenged us to read just one more scripture each day.

What if everyone in the church took on the "one more" challenge and in addition to one more time to the temple each year or month and one more scripture a day, the did many things just a little more? Amazing things would happen.

• Just one more call or visit to those you are assigned for visiting and home teaching
• Just one more prayer to your Heavenly Father each day
• Just one more moment of gratitude
• Just one more act of charity or kindness
  
• Just one more hour working on your lesson
• Just one more dollar on your Fast Offerings or charitable donations
  
• Just one more name found on your genealogy (and taken to the temple)
• Just one more, "I love you".
• Just one more, "I appreciate you"
  

Sometimes I think we are overwhelmed by all that we have to do in this life. What if we took the "one more" challenge and looked around at the things we do every day and tried to do them just a little better? For some of us, it will double our efforts and for some of us, it will just be a slight increase in all the work we are already doing. But, the collective effort would change the world.

Are YOU Prepared?

This was a talk given by Victor L. Brown during the recession of 1980. I had a true "light bulb" moment after reading it. I love when he says that this is a "personal preparedness, not church preparedness" issue. The church welfare system should not be the first place we head when we need help. It should be first, ourselves (because WE should be prepared), then, our extended family and then the church. Mark asked me the other night how long we could eat off our food storage. I told him, "Probably 3 months." I mean, I have 30 boxes of Tuna and Chicken Helper and about that many cans of tuna. But, I'll admit, the thought crossed my mind that, "We could always get food orders." Shame on me. It's MY responsibility to prepare. I assume that in this current economic turmoil that the church is once again wondering why members aren't prepared to take care of themselves. How many times do we need to be told?


"You will recall that ancient Israel was kept wandering in the wilderness for forty years before the people were prepared to cross over Jordan and enter the promised land. For over forty years we as a people have been taught the importance of personal and family preparedness. We have been taught that the first responsibility for our welfare rests upon our own shoulders and then upon our families. Only when these resources fail do we have call upon the Church. Yet, in recent months, it has been increasingly evident that there are many who are not prepared.

Within the last twelve months, the distribution of fast offerings and commodities by the bishops has been alarming. At the present rate of demand, the Church resources will be almost expended in a short time. As a matter of fact, some commodities have already been depleted, and this when the evidence is that the recession will be of a short duration. It would appear that in altogether too many cases the teachings about preparedness have been either misunderstood or knowingly rejected. Many of our members appear to feel that when difficulty comes, the Church will come to their aid, even when they could have prepared themselves had their priorities been appropriate.

Some time ago while visiting two stakes, I saw the evidence of the point I am trying to make. Both stakes were in predominantly Latter-day Saint communities. Both were affected seriously by the same severe but temporary disruption of employment. Generally, when I arrive in a new community for stake conference, I drive around the neighborhood or countryside to get a feel for the kind of people who live there. For example: Are their yards well taken care of? Are their homes well cared for? Are there old dilapidated barns and outbuildings, or are the properties neatly maintained and fenced? In other words, how much pride do the people have in themselves and their community?

In the first stake I refer to, I saw well-cared-for homes and yards. It seemed that this was a prosperous, so-called middle-class area. Some would have thought it an affluent area from the number of recreation vehicles in the driveways—boats, campers, and motor homes. As I met with the stake presidency, I commented on the apparent prosperity of the people. However, when reviewing the welfare needs of the people, I was shocked to see the demands made on the fast-offering funds and the bishops’ storehouse.

The stake president informed me that within a week or two of the closing down of the major employer, many families came to their bishops for assistance. They had very limited reserves from which to take care of themselves. He also mentioned there were some faithful members in his stake who from their reserves had taken care of their own needs as well as assisting some of their neighbors.

In the second stake, which was some distance from the first but which was impacted heavily by the same employment problem, I saw few recreation vehicles. As a matter of fact, I saw little evidence of affluence, although the properties were neat and tidy. Here I was surprised to see practically no fast offerings or bishop’s orders being used.

I asked the stake president if his bishops understood and were discharging their responsibilities for the poor and those in need. He indicated that, while some families had needed to seek assistance from their bishops, most of the members recognized their responsibility for their own welfare and were prepared to take care of themselves.

You see, the priorities of the members of these two stakes were very different. Many in the first stake were not prepared and expected the Church to take care of them, while in the second stake the situation was reversed—the majority of the people had prepared to meet their own needs.

In each of these examples, the central problem could probably have been avoided if the members had applied the principles of personal and family preparedness. The principles apply universally to all members of the Church all over the world, notwithstanding the fact that the full welfare services program is not in place in most countries outside the United States and Canada. We recognize there may be legal restrictions in some countries on certain phases of the program. Nevertheless, our people should follow these teachings to the extent the law allows.

I implore you stake leaders to see that the messages of this welfare services meeting get to the bishops, the quorum leaders, and the ward Relief Society presidents so that the members of the Church can be taught and converted sufficiently to live the basic principles of which we speak and thus put their houses in order (see D&C 90:18).

The bishop is responsible to administer to the needs of the poor and needy. He determines who will receive assistance and in what form that assistance will be. His judgment is basic to the wise administration of this program. He determines whether it blesses the people or becomes simply a dole. He also is responsible to see that no one who should properly be helped is overlooked."

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