Acting like Brothers and Sisters

We usually arrive quite early to church on Sunday. Parking is a premium so we get their early to get a good spot. So, I get to watch 95% of the ward come into the chapel each week. I LOVE the interaction that happens during that time and even during Sacrament meeting.

We are a noisy ward - I know our Stake President is disappointed at the level of noise before Sacrament meeting and even during it. We need to work on speaking softly to each other. But, what I also see is people lovingly greeting one another each week.

Then, when the meeting starts, I see lots of baby passing, smiling, silly faces, children going to sit with "surrogate grandparents" and people sliding forward a bench or two to watch little children when a mother has to take a baby out. It just happens every week and I love it. It shows that ward members truly care for each other.

I am so grateful for the good people in our ward. I believe that through service given to each other, we grow closer together. Our reward for that is love and charity towards one another which increases the likelihood that we will do our visiting and home teaching which then adds an increase of charity and love towards those we serve.

This is what happens...

When you ask 9 and 11 year old boys to set up the Gingerbread Village for you. Instead of happy gingerbread families, you get Storm Troopers and Lego Warriors battling it out. Peace on Earth...

The Mantle of Leadership

There was a change in the Bishopric the other day. I chuckled because they released everyone BUT Mark. I leaned forward to the Primary President sitting front of me and whispered, "They forgot a name!"

Then the second counselor became the first counselor and a new second counselor was called.

I don't know this man well and neither does Mark. But he was strongly impressed that he should be called into the Bishopric as his first counselor had served for a long time (from the previous Bishopric) and was needed in another Priesthood leadership position.

It's always amazing to me that "who the Lord calleth, he qualifies". The new counselor is probably 35 and, up until last Sunday, was an Elder. When they had him come to the stand to sit, he looked a bit stunned throughout the rest of the meeting.

But, by the time I went to fetch my kids from the clerk's office after church (they love to bug the ward financial clerk - the father of 5 mostly grown boys himself), there was a completely different demeanor to this man. It's like he had blossomed.

The poor man got thrown right into the middle of tithing settlement. They hardly have time to train him until next week. He showed up to the church with Mark on Thursday night for Tithing Settlement and again, I noticed what a change there was about him. I wonder if his family has felt and noticed it, too?

It's hard to describe what happens when your husband is serving in the Bishopric and especially as Bishop. There's just something different. I whine and complain when Mark has to travel for business or go to something in the evening for business. But, if he's gone for his calling, it's like I can't even THINK of whining or complaining. There's like a weird absence of the desire to do that.

I remember the day Mark was released the first time he served as a Bishop. We came home from church after and there was just this weird void like we'd left something important at church. Neither of us could describe it exactly - it was just very noticeable that something was gone.

I hope the new counselor's family feels the blessings of service that we have. I know it will be a challenge for them. His wife is newly pregnant with their third child and sicker than sick. I was actually surprised she was at church last Sunday when he was called and I felt really bad for her when he left to sit on the stand and there she sat feeling miserable with two little kids.

"Change" Someone's Christmas!

”I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare…If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us,… they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.”

C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity

Tonight was our Third Annual "Change" Someone's Christmas Family Home Evening activity. We did pretty bad on the change saving this year and only ended up with $67. But, we doubled it AND had a 10% off the total purchase coupon so, add to that some great sales and we got a LOT.

It's amazing how God puts people in your way to help you at times. The coupon at Fred Meyer's LOOKED like it gave you 10% off all toys and sporting goods, but when we went to check out, the guy said there was all sorts of confusing fine print and it didn't apply to sale prices but since nearly everything was on sale, he was rebelling against the system and just giving everyone 10% off anyway. WOW! I thanked him and told him the cart full of toys was all going to charity so his generosity was very kind. If we had gone to any other check-out line, we probably wouldn't have gotten the same treatment.

The best part about this is the impact it has on our boys. They understand that we are not shopping for them so there is no "wishful window shopping" allowed. We're all about "business". They also look for the best sale prices to get the most bang for our buck so they learn about buying on sale to make your dollars go farther. They are also forced to buy GIRL toys but they make sure that they make appropriate purchases - no half-naked Bratz dolls from us!

This year we are adding a new component. We are having an Open House this weekend - it's an open house in the true sense of the word - it will be outside from the garage. We have asked our friends and neighbors to bring toys to share with those in need. We will have a couple of fire pits going with fires and hot cocoa and cookies in our decorated and heated garage. We'll add the toys from that to our own pile and then drop them off early next week for the Christmas House charity.

We had a talk tonight about "spreading the wealth around". We taught our boys that paying more taxes to fund endless social programs will NEVER feel good, go as far or be as useful as what we did tonight - making the choice to share our blessings with those less fortunate. If more people in the world opened their hearts and their change jars, the world would be a better place!

Watch a Movie on BYU TV

I got a postcard in the mail that The Errand of Angels, a recent movie about Sister missionaries will be shown Thanksgiving weekend on BYU TV. You can tune in on Thanksgiving at 6pm (mountain time) or Friday at 9pm (mountain time). This movie was advertised heavily in Utah this summer but didn't make it here for even a day that I saw. I've been wanting to see it and, around here, I would be surprised if I was able to rent it anywhere. Although, Hollywood Video will often carry the LDS movies but they're pretty inconsistent.

So, set the DVR and enjoy! Hopefully it's just not the female version of The Best Two Years.

I *heart* Missionaries

Mark and I went to an open house for our mission. The mission offices are in our building so we didn't have far to go. Leaders from across the whole mission were invited to that event and the hosts and hostesses were the missionaries.

There was a brief presentation and part of it was a group of Elders singing a hymn a capella. As the mother of sons, it brings tears to my eyes to see a group of handsome young elders sing like that - and actually ENJOY IT! They all grinned all the way through.

Between the ages of 19 and 21, there are so many things a young man COULD be doing. Yet, so many young men in our church chose to take those first "adult" years and serve the Lord.

Anyone who faults the LDS church for anything needs to get to know our missionaries. They are amazing young men {and women} . Yes, that can do bone-head things at times but they have such power and strength of spirit when they teach the gospel. They are truly unique in this world. And, they will be so much farther ahead on the maturity scale than other young men {and women} their age when they return home.

My nephew just recently left for his mission in Utah. The first letters home have caused us all to wonder if he was mysteriously replaced with an alien because they don't sound like him. He's doing foreign things like STUDYING {and enjoying it} and saying he LOVES his parents. We think someone is writing his letters FOR HIM. But, we're all thrilled. He's been out only a few weeks and already, the boy is turning into a man! We can't wait to see his growth in 2 years.

Having him out is a great blessing out our family as we get the opportunity to help support him. Our boys get to hear about his mission and that will help them be excited about their own someday.

In some ways, I can't WAIT for my boys to serve, {some days I wish they sent tweens} but I know that I'll be blubbering with the best of them when I watch them walk through the door at the MTC. But for now, we're teaching them that they need to make the decision to serve now and not let anything stand in their way {like girls}.

One thing that has been important in our home is for Mark to share his mission stories, photos and journals with the boys. Mark served in Denmark and when the boys are a little older, we have a plan to take them there. We want them to see where their dad served and get excited about their own mission. We gave my nephew a mission journal before he left and told him to keep a good journal because someday, he'll want to share those important experiences with his own children to encourage them to make the right choice themselves when they are of age to do so.

Now she's packing heat...

Remember our Harley-ridin' RS Pres? Now she's packing "heat". Yes, she's armed and {not so} dangerous. I'll never miss another Presidency Meeting and I told Mark to make sure to take care of the RS calling requests FIRST. :-)

It's Tithing Settlement time...

We'll miss him...

Tithing settlement means that we don't see Mark until about mid-December. It really messes with our schedules. We can't plan anything Tues-Thurs nights and Sunday evenings for the next month.

My advice is to sign up as soon as you can. The entire Bishopric including the executive secretary and the ward financial clerk are tied up with this until it's done. There are half a dozen families on hold through a busy and festive time of year. As it was, I made Mark cancel everything on Wednesday night so we can take our family to see The Forgotten Carols here in town.

I'm not complaining, I'm just doing a PSA for Bishops - go early and fill in the holes so their time is used efficiently.

I asked Mark how the church expects Bishops to get everything done that is asked of them and he said, "I think they only call Bishops for 5-6 years because they know they will literally wear them out in that time. You work as hard as you can during that time knowing you'll never get it all done no matter what you do. In the meantime, you age about 10 years just with the trying."

I think the time table is also based on the fact that a woman can be patient for only so long... :-)

Those who protest are ignorant of our history...

I'm shocked but not surprised at the protests against the passing of Prop 8 that are specifically directed against the LDS church. First of all, Mormons make up only 2% of the total California population. We didn't pass this alone. We are, just as in most things, just very organized. That organization alone has made us a target.

Someone on a TV show said today that the will of the majority being forced on a minority was unconstitutional. She said that the Constitution was there to protect minorities. REALLY? I thought it was "equal protection under the law" and that it was for ALL Americans. And, yes, in a democracy where we get to vote, the minority doesn't often rule. That's as it should be. We have a right as Americans to collectively define American culture. Apparently, marriage between one man and one woman is one of those things we clearly stand together on. That doesn't mean we are bigots, it just means we are preserving traditional values. This wasn't a vote against homosexuals, it was a vote FOR MARRIAGE as it stands today. In my opinion, this isn't a civil rights issue. We HAVE equal rights. I can't marry a woman either. Everyone has the right to marry a person of the opposite sex regardless of race, religion or even orientation. It's equal.

Those that are protesting don't understand that the LDS church was in a similar spot in 1890. We had practiced plural marriage - a form of marriage as old as time itself and still practiced today in many countries. Well, the opinion of the majority of Americans was that it was wrong. So, without even a VOTE on it, the U.S. government imposed their will on a tiny minority of Americans in the form of the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act. Then that was followed up by the ever popular Edmunds-Tucker Act. Both were specifically formulated laws against the LDS church. How many would tolerate a law specifically AGAINST ANY minority group today? Yet, it happened to us many, many times. They said, "If you want to become a state, you give up the practice of plural marriage." And, guess what we did? We quietly gave up the practice of plural marriage. We didn't stage protests. We didn't shoot out church windows or burn sacred books or call people names. We just complied - and continue to comply (although I often tell my husband I could really use a good wife... :-)

Yet, interestingly, I have heard some (not in our church) say that if you allow marriage between two men or two women, then the next logical step is to legalize PLURAL marriage. If "anything goes" in the definition of marriage, then that makes sense. But, I've heard homosexuals decry that form of marriage as "unnatural" and that they will NEVER support it. Why not? Why not marriage between two first cousins? It's extremely common in most parts of the world yet illegal in all but about 2 states in this country. Again, "no way - that's sick!" What makes THEIR position any more "right" than than the position of those of us supporting traditional marriage or those who want to have more than one wife or those (like a couple in our neighborhood) who fell in love with their first cousin? It's a slippery slope into a bottom-less pit.

Anyway, I expect this fight will come to my state in the very near future. I just wish that those who protest against the LDS church understood our history. We've been where you are and we handled it very differently. The will of the majority in this country is what shapes the country. Sometimes we need to just accept and move on rather than letting our lives be consumed with hatred towards others.

It's Party Time

Once again it's time for Mark's Holiday party at work. It's always a bit of a dilemma for us because frankly, Mark and I are sort of viewed as the "kill-joys" of the group. The upper management and their spouses always do something during December. Because it's a mix of Christians and Jews, they always go sort of holiday neutral - which is fine. But, it often seems to be tricky for us.

Two years ago they chose to go to a local dinner theater show. It was on a weeknight which was a problem for us since it would be a late night and therefore hard to get a babysitter. But, the other dilemma was that this show was somewhere between PG-13 and R-rated in the humor. So, after really not much discussion between us, Mark told his boss that we wouldn't be attending. It was sort of awkward because the tickets were purchased before anyone was even told where we would be going. But, we just didn't feel good spending the evening watching essentially "bawdy" vaudeville circus acts.

Last year, they chose something different. We went to a very nice restaurant downtown. That was a lovely evening and I have no problem sitting around with people having a glass of wine with dinner. But, some of them drank, and drank, and drank, and drank to the point where it was embarrassing. BECAUSE of the alcohol which we all knew would flow freely, they took us to the restaurant in a "party bus" which was an old transit bus with most of the seats removed for a dance floor and disco lights flashing. The ride down was nice, but the ride back was, well, a little, ummmm, "interesting". Pretty much everyone had at least a buzz and some were just sloppy drunk. We survived, though, and appreciated the night out.

This year, they chose another really upscale restaurant. But the only night they could get reservations was on Sunday. So, once again, we said, "Have fun!" (and we really mean that) and will bow out again.

Of course, there is a lot of "we'll make it up to you" going on. Honestly, while I appreciate that sentiment, we really don't care. We don't need to have an equal share of holiday festivities. I hope they have a great evening.

The challenge is that when you do something like this, you're never really sure if it sort of becomes a "black mark" against you at work. I know that some at work don't "get" where Mark's coming from. He doesn't drink and he will often ask people to not swear in his presence. And, that's not the culture at his place of employment.

But, you hope that you are blessed for standing for your convictions and that your example will have an impact on others. It's not easy to stand up for what you believe at times. Sometimes it's downright uncomfortable. But it's important. I think Latter-Day Saints will be required to stand up and be strong more and more as the days move forward. Look what's happening California and now Utah. Will you be willing to stand up and be counted or will you shrink to the back of the crowd and hang-out with them but be silent about your convictions?

I thought I escaped the drama...

My mom was one of those women who, in a fit of anger, would yell, "I HOPE YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER JUST LIKE YOU SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT I'VE GONE THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!" (only she used *ahem* "stronger" language than that at times)

So, what did I do? I didn't have any daughters. SO THERE! Mom.

The weird thing is that I don't remember being THAT BAD! Maybe my memory has dimmed with age, but aside from wishing my brother was dead for being his eternal victim for whatever rotten thing he wanted to do to me, I don't remember having a tumultuous relationship with my mother or slamming doors or being over-the-top ridiculous with the theatrics.

But, I still received a portion of THE CURSE as I call it. I have an 11 year old son who is more than making up for any lack of a daughter.

He is the DRAMA KING.

He waffles in between telling all his 5th grad friends that they will LOVE Middle School and sitting at the breakfast table with his head on it crying that, "I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE IT! HATE IT! HAAAAAAATE ITTTTTT!!!!!!"

I assume that some of it is hormones that are starting to kick up. But, most of it is just him. Add to that his extreme lack of organizational skills and his impression that the universe doesn't have a clock by which anyone has to operate and I sometimes wonder if he'll be living with us until he dies.

He's a great kid, but he's really, really stubborn and when things don't go his way, he pops a cork. We just continually try to channel that stubbornness for good and not for drama.

This parenthood stuff is hard. We should warn the others.

No kidding....

It's amazing to me that society thinks that nothing's true unless there's a study done somewhere. Common sense doesn't seem to be that common anymore.

Consider this news story: LINK. Imagine that, teenage girls watching Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City are MORE LIKELY to do things that cause them to end up pregnant! Shocking... who would have EVER made that connection???!!!! It's a good thing they did a study to point that out to us!

I remember seeing an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker a few years ago when Sex and the City was at the top of it's game. She said she would be out walking around NYC and young girls would come up to her and say, "Ohhh, I LOVE Sex and the City!!!!" She said she always wanted to slap the parents. It was definitely not a show that teen-aged girls should be watching.

How many years have leaders of our church been telling us to be careful about what we let into our homes and careful about what we watch in theaters? Now we have "proof" of what we already know.

What's next? A study on violent video games and violence among young men? Nahhhh.... oh wait, it's been proven but no one wants to listen.

I need an appointment to see the Bishop...

A friend sent me this - I laughed so hard. I always threaten Mark that I'm going to set up an appointment with his executive secretary so I can see him. I never miss tithing settlement, it's our 15 minute date for the month of December.

On the Sunday before New Year's Day, a new Bishop told the congregation that when he had been made Bishop, he had set a goal of visiting every family in the ward before the year ended.

Apologizing that he had not met this goal, he asked anyone to raise their hand if they had been missed and really needed a visit before the end of the year.

Only one person raised her hand---the Bishop's wife.

Bishop Napoleon Dynamite

Seriously, I have nothing to say.... except, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"

Spreading the Wealth Around

We have heard a lot about this lately. Frankly, it scares me - Happy Halloween! We spread our own wealth around. As a Latter-Day Saint, we give a minimum of 10% of our pre-tax income to the church. Ten percent is tithing and then there are additional amounts for other offerings. It probably amounts to somewhere between 12 and 15% of our income when all is said and done. But, it's never less than 10%.

My husband is a "community organizer" if that's what you want to call it - he's a Bishop who watches over a ward and devotes quite a bit of his free-time to helping others IN ADDITION to his regular job that he works at about 50 hours a week. He receives no compensation for his Bishop's duties - at least not in the form of money. But, the spiritual rewards are plentiful.

We are spreading our wealth - both spiritual and temporal - around. And, I think we are doing a pretty darn good job of managing it ourselves.

Counter this with those who think the government should be spreading my wealth around.

VP candidate, Joe Biden, has made over $2 million dollars in the last ten years and has reportedly given only $3,600 to charity. His running mate gave only about 1% of his sizeable income to charity from 2000-2004 and interestingly, kicked it up to a whopping 6% only after he decided to run for president. But, one year, he gave only .4% of his income.

Contrast this with the other candidates. John McCain has given anywhere from 18-26% of his annual income to charity over the last few years. Now, according to records I have seen, Sarah Palin isn't winning any points with God - she has donated only about 2% of her income to charity each year. Still, as a flat out dollar amount, she has still donated more than Joe Biden has in the last few years. I'm disappointed, though.

My point is that I, and most Americans, can do more with dollars we choose to donate to charity than government can with money taken from us to be given to others who did not earn it. When I donate money or goods to LDS Humanitarian Services, 100% of my donation goes to help others. The overhead to run the program is paid for by investments.

The Perpetual Education Fund has blessed the lives of countless people throughout the world. They are able to get something they could never dream of - an education - that will better their lives. That is much better than being paid to do nothing.

Even our church welfare system requires accountability. Mark has been counseled to set goals with families receiving assistance and they must be accomplishing those goals in order to keep receiving assistance. This is with the goal of quickly helping them become self-sufficient. It's tough love, but if you aren't working on and meeting the goals, you aren't going to keep getting help. As Mark often says, "These are sacred funds given by members of your ward. They are not to be wasted." Does the government EVER do this? No.

Contributing to charities - good charities with honest goals, not well-salaried leaders - is something every American should be doing. Think of all the good that could be done in the world if everyone gave 10% of their income to a good charity?

C.S. Lewis said in his book, MERE CHRISTIANITY. "I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare…If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us,… they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.”

Use It or Lose It

I have been going to our local dry pack cannery for years. I am so grateful for all the oatmeal, flour and sugar we have burned through. I have even given cans of it to neighbors when they have called me because they were out of sugar. It's a great way to talk about the church with them because they wonder why you have giant cans or bags of sugar in your house all the time.

For a while, I did tons of dried apples. They are problematic here in the wet northwest because the minute you open them and snack on their dry crunchy goodness, they absorb huge amounts of moisture from the air and the next day, they are like rubber - even with the lid on. They aren't so good all rubbery.

So, you almost have to use the whole can at once to make pies or something else. My plan to put them in oatmeal sort of works - but sometimes they are hard to dig out of the can because they are a wad of rubber.

I wanted to make Apple Butter for Christmas gifts this year. I had to follow up my "Pomegranate Jelly" from two years ago. People at Mark's work are STILL talking about how great it was. It was so easy that it was pathetic. I made it out of pomegranate juice, sugar and pectin. It took all of 5 minutes in a water bath to seal the cute little jars. But, I forget that most of the rest of the world doesn't make ANYTHING home-made like that. It was a huge hit.

So, this year it will be apple-cranberry butter. I decided to try it with the dried apples that I needed to use and have tons of cans of. They worked GREAT! I put them in the crock pot with spices, salt and sugar (just one cup since the juice is sweet) and then spent all day pouring cranberry juice and water over them as they soaked up the liquid. When they started to turn transparent, I ran it all through my Cuisinart with a can of jellied cranberry sauce. YUM! It was thick and spicy and sweet and tart all at the same time.

Ten minutes in a water bath to seal my jars and I am again "Molly Mormon" who makes her own food... sort of...

The question is... what can I do with all the dried carrots I have, too? I doubt anyone would get excited about Carrot butter - ewwwww!

Political Pet Peeves

Okay, I'm already discussing religion, so I might as well add politics into the mix.

I HATE the political season. I wish you could let someone know that you've already decided and that would magically remove all ads from your TV, stop those HORRENDOUSLY annoying phone calls and stop the door bell from ringing all weekend. I'm a conservative Republican and have never voted any other way and most likely never will. So, although I may not always LIKE the Republican candidate, I will vote for him/her.

We have a heated race for governor going on in our state. It's a rematch from 4 years ago. It came down to the 3 legal recounts and the law said whoever won the last recount wins unless the other side files a lawsuit and drags it through the courts. So our current governor LOST the first 2 recounts and then WON the third one by the slimmest of margins. The challenger decided to graciously NOT drag the state through a court battle and he bowed out. It's lost on most of us how you can lose 2 out of 3 times and be the winner. But in this state, the loser can actually be the winner.

What I TRULY hate about politics is the assumption that I am S*T*U*P*I*D. There is an ad being run by the current governor (a Democrat) wherein an OB/GYN laments that the other candidate voted to allow pharmacists to NOT sell the emergency contraception pill. Then she says, "It's wrong that Dino Rossi forces his opinion and choices on the rest of us." Okay, she is concerned about victims of rape and incest having access to the pill (really, she just wants everyone to have access to it but she's not saying that - it's more dramatic to single out victims). Dino Rossi merely voted to allow pharmacists to CHOOSE to sell the pill or not. He didn't demand that they ALL stop selling it. He just voted, oh, let's call it "PRO-CHOICE" when it comes to selling the pill. How is voting to allow a business owner to CHOOSE forcing anyone to do anything? That doesn't mean that NO pharmacist will sell it. It just means that pharmacists who don't agree with essentially an abortion pill won't be FORCED to sell it. So, how is it that SHE should be forcing her opinions and choices on the rest of us?????

I was so mad that I actually looked for an email address for that doctor. I couldn't find one, but I wanted to tell her that for a doctor, she was mighty dumb to have even SAID what she said. She was treating the public like they were stupid.

I really wish this election was over. Elections drag out too long, are too costly, and at the end of the day, are too stacked full of people who really need to go get a REAL job after a few years of public service. It's sad that the average American can really never run the country. It's become like the House of Lords at times with people feeling like they or their family are owed the right to be in political office. Ted Kennedy has expressed his wishes that his wife or son take over his seat when he passes away. That's what titled men do in England - they pass their political seat down to their heirs in the House of Lords. I thought we had a little war or something over 200 years ago to get away from that??

How many days are left?? I can't wait for this to be over... Be sure to vote, though. I love the letter that the church sends out reminding us of political neutrality and that we should vote for good men and women who will make good moral choices for our country. Everyone gets to choose that person. I'm grateful for a church who doesn't tell me who the RIGHT person is.

A Word of Caution over Words

Since the "crash" on Wall Street and the "world financial crisis", I keep seeing and getting more and more "stuff" that is attributed to someone in the church somewhere. Often, they seem to be "friend of a friend" stories - always a dead give-away that something's not quite right. The other day in church, it was a talk circulating the internet by Elder Packer given in his home ward. My baloney detector went up because it was A) a talk give during testimony meeting and B) a full-on transcript of a talk. I wondered why he would give a written, prepared talk during testimony meeting. It was very "end of the world". Well, apparently, the talk DID happen but it was "off the cuff". The transcript circulating is someone's notes from the talk and there is a lot of "interpretation" in the notes that wasn't quite the way it was.

Then I ran across this letter. I remember them reading this because I was like, "WOW! People do that?" Well, the internet was in it's infancy back then. I was amazed when President Hinckley died to find out that my friend in Australia found out about it nearly at the same time I did - just minutes after he passed away. And all the church and Utah news sites were crashed with people trying to find out more.

The internet has given us the ability to communicate instantly with one another. And that means the ability to instantly pass on something that we have not taken the time to verify.

This talk has been posted on hundreds of blogs just like this one - usually with some commentary by the blogger that he/she pledges to change their life because of the great calamity that Elder Packer said was coming.

These were comments to his HOME WARD, not the whole church. This is not prophecy. This is a man stating his opinion to his ward in a testimony meeting. I have heard that the church is aware of the fact that this is going all over the place and is not happy, nor is President Packer. But, I have not verified that fact - so again, it's rumor.

It's too bad talks from conference aren't being posted on blogs everywhere. with blogger renewing their desire to "stand a little taller" in their callings and their faith.

The lesson here is to be cautious about hitting FORWARD whenever you receive stuff like this. The notes of this talk, if taken out of context and twisted, could do more harm than good as we are made out to look like a bunch of Kool-Aid drinkers who are waiting for the mother-ship to come pick us up before the world blows up.

I received a similar email a few weeks ago where a regular member of the church claims to have received prophecy about the Wall Street Crash in a vision. It was totally bizarre, but again, it went all over the place as THE TRUTH.



May 13, 2004

To: General Authorities; Area Authority Seventies; Stake, Mission, and
District Presidents; Bishops and Branch Presidents

(To be read in sacrament meeting)

Dear Brothers and Sisters:

Statements Attributed to Church Leaders

From time to time statements are circulated among members which are inaccurately attributed to the leaders of the Church. Many such statements distort current Church teachings and are often based on rumors and innuendos. They are never transmitted officially, but by word of mouth, e-mail, or other informal means.

We encourage members of the Church to never teach or pass on such statements without verifying that they are from approved sources, such as official statements, communications, and publications. Any notes made when General Authorities, Area Authority Seventies, or other general Church officers speak at regional and stake conferences or other meetings should not be distributed without the consent of the speaker. Personal notes are for individual use only.

True spiritual growth is based on studying the scriptures, the teachings of the Brethren, and Church publications.

Sincerely your brethren,
Gordon B. Hinckley
Thomas S. Monson
James E. Faust

EDITED:

Mark just got an email from our Stake President which was from our regional rep specifically regarding the email about Elder Packer's talk. It quoted the letter above. Interesting....

Thirty Hours a Week!

Recently, a survey was done among Bishops in Utah. They said that on average, they spend about 30 hours a week doing Bishoply duties. While that seemed a bit high to Bishops in our stake, it still amounts to about another part-time job for most of them. Mark works about 55 hours a week so even adding another 20-25 for being Bishop leaves him with precious little time for anything else.

Interestingly, the leaders of the church said that that time was being spent on things that weren't that important for the Bishops to be doing - such as administrative duties like issuing callings and taking care of issues that home and visiting teachers could be taking care of or Quorums and Relief Society Presidencies should be doing.

The long and short of the meeting was that a Bishop should be taking care of personal issues for members that only be taken care of with him, working with the youth, and missionary work. They said that if Bishops especially concentrated on the missionary work (which is really what working closely with the youth is also), then the church would grow and the members would be happy.

It was a real eye-opener for most Bishops who are drowning in the administrivia of their wards and barely have time to do anything else. All those things are supposed to be delegated. that means that other leaders in the wards need to "Stand a little taller" and spend a little more time on their own callings.

It's interesting that we (and I'm included here) have been trained so incorrectly as to the role of our Bishops. We (and again, I'm including myself here) tend to think that the Bishop is more "botherable" than anyone else in the ward. It's somehow become more acceptable to call the Bishop for a phone number for someone in the ward, than it is to "bother" our visiting teachers or RS secretary (who probably has more numbers than the Bishop does).

One of the lessons I take with me from Mark's calling is that the Bishop is really busy and that I should try to solve my problem myself before I call his house. I'm not saying this is a problem for us - because it really isn't most of the time. But if you look at the collective Bishops of the church, it really can be a problem at times. Members will often head "straight for the top" when they have issues with their callings, need help moving, need a blessing, have a concern about something in their auxiliary, need an appointment with him (his executive secretary has his schedule), need to find a new apartment, etc.

It's service that Bishop's gladly give - I've never ONCE heard a complaint from my Bishop. But, it would be nice if we could all make their lives a little easier by following the house of order that God has set up for us and looking for answers to the simple questions in other places first. A lesson learned...

Drive-By Visiting Teaching Interviews

We are holding our Visiting Teaching interviews this coming weekend. We know everyone is busy and so is our presidency - half of us work full-time. So, we are going to get the job done!

We are making it super easy - the sisters will sign up for a time between 9 and 11 am. They will literally just drive into the church parking lot and one of the presidency members will hop in the car with them and do the interview. The sisters will get a muffin and some juice and HOPEFULLY a fun thing to hang off their rear view mirrors to remind them to do their visiting teaching and then we'll send them on their way.

We're telling them to "come as you are"! If they want to come in their jammies on a Saturday morning, they can.

The only thing that would make it more fun is if we had a literal drive-up window at the church, but, we can't have them driving into the bushes! I don't think the Bishop would appreciate that.

No Sleepover Zone

Call us crazy - plenty of others have - but our family lives in the NO SLEEPOVER zone. We made this decision long before our kids entered the sleepover years. Luckily, most of our friends and our kids' friends parents are fine with it. A few will give us weird looks while others will blurt out, "REALLY!?!?!?" when we say our kids aren't allowed to do sleepovers.

We are an equal opportunity NO SLEEPOVER zone - we neither have them nor allow our kids to attend them. Not having them is partly because I simply don't want to deal with them and part of it is because we feel like we want to be consistent with the rule. It's like taking a donated organ but not believing in donating them. You can't have it both ways.

Why do we do this? Well, there are several reasons.

1. The unknown - you just never know who's at someone else's house. Older siblings, visiting relatives, other kids sleeping over - you don't always know them well. I have too many friends who were either molested at sleep overs or experimented with sex and/or drugs during sleepovers.
   
2. No need - what's the big deal about SLEEPING at someone's house? All I ever did was stay awake all night with anxiety. N already has some anxiety in his life - I think he would probably have night-time crying issues and other people don't need to deal with that
3. The unknown: Part 2 - Mark had plenty of times where he and his friend left the house after the friend's parents went to bed. And, mischief followed them into the night. I can't be sure a parent will keep my kid IN the house. We have plenty of junk done in our neighborhood by kids in the middle of the night where I think to myself, "WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?!" - probably home in their Sleep Number bed sawing logs.

So, what's our solution? LATE OVERS! Last weekend N went off to a sleepover birthday party and the mom was like, "Do you want us to drop him off after the movie?" The boy across the street has sleepover birthday parties and N stays until bedtime and then comes home. Sometimes he even goes back for breakfast the next morning.

We have had kids over until 10pm at night watching movies and hanging out. It's actually nice to never have to struggle to get 6 boys to go to sleep. It's nice to put them in the car and take them home or wave from the front porch.

Our boys are starting to fight us on our rule -they want to split hairs and try to get us to let them stay a few select homes where we know the families well, but really, we can't budge - that's a slippery slope to start down. Suddenly, everyone's house will be an exception in their minds.

So, call us crazy, but we just can't imagine our kids sleeping anywhere but our house or their grandparent's house. I sleep better at night knowing my kids are safe in their beds and not out running around the neighborhood, smoking their first cigarette or crying themselves to sleep because this really wasn't as good of an idea as they thought it was.

I'm not saying that if you let your kids do sleepovers that you're a bad parent - I'm just saying that for us, this makes sense. Everyone has to decide what's best for their family.

Family By Phone

Mark was in Chicago last week. He travels quite a bit - which is a bit of a problem when you're the Bishop. But, he's not the worst. His brother who just passed away lived in a ward in Florida where the Bishop was a SNOW BIRD! He was literally gone all summer to his home in Utah. I don't know how that worked - they must have been really hard up for a Bishop!

But, I digress...

Anyway, most nights he will call at 9pm and I put him on speaker phone and we have family prayer together. It's become our habit or tradition. Even when we can't be together, we can still have family prayer together. Sometimes he even calls in early to read the scriptures.

Our hope is that when the boys remember that dad was traveling quite a bit when they were young, that they will also remember he prioritized praying together as a family.

I found the video!

In THIS previous post, I was wanting to find a video from seminary. Well, when we were in Utah, I went to the church's distribution center and their "video expert" listened to my description of it and said, "Oh, The Body is a Temple from the New Testament Video Presentations!".

And darn it all if he wasn't right...

Yay, Video Expert Guy!! Thanks!

BTW - that video has some GREAT clips on it. The boys loved "The Whole Armor of God". You just have to get past the 1980's look - big hair and preppy clothes. Did we REALLY look that way???

There's Disco in Vernal

We spent last week in Utah making arrangements for and attending Mark's brother's funeral. It was a wonderful celebration of his life.

We had a nice time visiting with all of Mark's siblings - including his brother who lives in Cambodia.

One of our nephews (who is like 4 years old) is probably going to be the new Weird Al Yankovic. He has some weird ability to connect music to EVERYTHING in his life. He connects it in hysterical ways.

For instance, he got a nose bleed at Stake Conference several months back and when his mother took him to the bathroom to clean him up, he started bellowing, "I KEEP BLEEDING! I KEEP, KEEP BLEEDING LOVE!" (by Leona Lewis). I wish I could remember more of the stories his parents tell us about him and music. Every time they tell us one, I always say, "I hope you're writing these down!"

It should be noted that this family lives in Roosevelt, UT - which isn't too far from Vernal. Well, recently, they were cruising along in the family mini van and this little tot says he wants to go to Vernal to the Disco. And, his father says, "DISCO? How do you even know that word? And why do you say you want to go to Vernal?"

So, the kid broke out into song to explain his desire to go to Vernal to the Disco...

"Burn, baby, burn, there's a Disco in Vernal!"

Now you'll never be able to hear that song again without hearing these lyrics!

When Dad is Bishop

Last week, N dragged home a bike with one wheel. One of the neighborhood kids had pawned it off on him. He HAD the wheel but it was in his other hand. I spent all week conjuring up some plan to deposit it back into the neighbor's yard under cover of darkness and then hoping that N wouldn't notice it was no longer sitting in our front yard (I'm sure the neighbors love the "garage annex" aka our front yard.)

Today, I noticed that the wheel had somehow gotten back together with the bike. I asked N if he had done it and he said he had, with the help of our neighbor.

That's the tricky part of having your dad as the Bishop. The lawn always grows just a little too high before it gets cut. The toilet leaks just a little longer before it finally gets fixed and the kids' "projects" get put off as long as possible and then one of our boys will go off and ask whoever is outside washing their car to help them. I'm grateful to the few neighborhood dads we have who are willing to dig out the tools and put the pedal back on the bike. They probably think Mark is the biggest slacker in the universe, though - LOL!

You should have seen Mark during Pine Wood Derby season this year. He had TWO to get done in less than 4 weeks. His first counselor also has two cub scouts. I joked that they would be sitting in Bishopric meeting discussing the ward while sanding cars. I know the boys are supposed to do it, but they need supervision and that's what Dads are for. But, when dads are super busy, sometimes it's lucky to get done at all.

I've come to the conclusion that this calling isn't for families who have to have things done YESTERDAY. If I was the kind of wife who was a nagger, it would make Mark's life miserable. Instead, I'm okay with pulling the top off the toilet tank to push the flapper down for the 4th time this week because it doesn't always go down by itself. And, I'm okay with the Christmas stuff not getting dragged from the crawl space until the last minute because of tithing settlement 4 nights a week for the first half of December.

And, the boys seem to be just fine with asking "Neighbor Mike" to help them with their bikes. And we appreciate "Neighbor Mike" being kind enough to help. We pay him in Chocolate Chip cookies on Sunday nights so I think he's happy.

Sports on Sunday - Our Family's View

It's SOCCER SEASON! I'm really not a "soccer mom" except that I drive them to and from games. I really only pay attention when one of the boys is on the field and I'm not first in line to be "Team Mom". But, both boys love it and it's the only sport besides Karate that we do each year on a regular basis.

This coming weekend, D has a game on Sunday. Whenever we fill out our soccer registration, we always put in the comments box, "Will not play on Sunday". That doesn't mean that none of the games will be on Sunday, that just means that we are giving the coach advance notice. So far, we've had only a few games be on Sunday. I think when they see that, they try to limit the number of Sunday games for that team. I know it's a pain in the neck for the scheduler's but I appreciate the effort.

So, here comes our Sunday game. I told D's coach and his usual response is, "Why?" accompanied by a look of total confusion. When we try to explain, we get a "But if it's not during church then you can come?" Finally, we just tell him that the whole day is for church activities and not sports. He still never gets it after 3 years.

It IS really hard to explain, but, honestly, I don't feel like I need to explain it to anyone. We don't play sports on Sunday - period.

I have always admired athletes who try their hardest to keep the Sabbath Day holy. It's a personal decision - especially when you're a pro-athlete.

A few years ago, there was a BYU student who got drafted by an NFL team and when he said he would't play on Sunday, it was a deal-breaker for him. He went on to become an Elementary School teacher if I remember correctly. I was so proud of him. He gave up millions to make thousands.

Then there was the marathon runner from Alaska who flew all the way to either NYC or Boston to run a marathon only to find out it was run on SUNDAY. Since he was there already he went ahead and ran the full course on Saturday. He missed out on his dream but compromised to keep the Sabbath Day Holy - which was apparently more important.

The Sabbath is Holy at our house. We don't watch regular TV - just BYU TV and videos that keep the spirit of the day. We stay in our church clothes so we can keep the attitude of the Sabbath. Our kids can go outside and sit in the treehouse or on the bench swing to read, but they can't go out and play. And, no home work is allowed at our house on the Sabbath.

The world (and sometimes other members) don't understand our quirky Sunday style, but that's okay. We're doing the best we can to keep that day Holy and set it apart from the other 6 days. Saturday is for sports, Sunday is for the Lord. It's our effort to "Stand a Little Taller" as President Hinckley always advised us to do.

So Glad I Have What I Have

D went down to the bus stop last week and one of the neighborhood boys a year younger than him was sporting a self-inflicted ear piercing. Of course, instead of being impressed like he hoped I would be, all I could think of to say was, "Dude, that's really red. Does your mom know you did that?"

So, here stands a third grader being all "cool" with his new ear ring. I'm old enough to still believe that earrings are for girls! Even D focused in on the potential infection once I said that. I hoped that it turned something that was supposed to have a high "cool effect" into a "gosh, I hope his ear doesn't fall off" moment.

So, now, guess what we're going to talk about for Family Home Evening next week? We'll be hauling out the New Era and Ensign articles about piercings and tattoos. I'm so very grateful for the words of the prophets and other leaders. Really, it makes my job as a parent easier. Instead of saying, "You're not getting a tattoo or ear ring because I SAID SO!" We can sit down and have a discussion about what's right and how our bodies are sacred temples that should not be defaced.

I can't imagine parenting without a purpose. By that I mean swimming around making arbitrary decisions based on my personal opinion and nothing else. Instead of saying "No" for the sake of saying "no", I can say, "No... and here's why". Then we can talk about what the Lord expects of us and the children have the opportunity to feel the Spirit as they seek confirmation to what we've taught them. They won't always go pray about it because their humanity will try to overcome their spirits. But, they will know what's right and hopefully that will touch them enough to at least bother them a bit if they make the wrong choice.

N used to have a nice CTR ring - which, of course he lost because children eventually lose everything - including their mother's sanity - but, he wore it to school all through the 4th grade. His 4th grade teacher - a single non-LDS 20-something asked him about the ring and said it was COOL! When N explained what it meant, his teacher asked if N could get him one. So, guess what the teacher got at the end of the year?! I'm so glad that we can teach our kids what the RIGHT is in the Choose The Right. This teacher is now with the Peace Corps in China and I hope he's still wearing the ring and choosing the right even though he may not always understand "the right".

Really, the gospel makes your job as a parent much easier. You can turn to heavenly resources to help you teach your children what is right. A great plan.

Good-Bye, Brother...

Well, the EEG showed no significant brain activity beyond the seizures he's suffering from the brain swelling. So, his son and his brothers and his father will put on their white shirts tonight and give him a blessing that gives him permission to go home to our Father in Heaven. Then his ventilator will be turned off and he'll be made comfortable. We hope he chooses to leave quickly. From what some have felt, he's ready to go now, he just can't get out of his body because of the life support.

I'm grateful for the plan of salvation and the eternal nature of families. I'm also grateful that we have a merciful and loving God who let Dave leave before the ALS robbed him of all his dignity. It's a horrible disease to die from. This was merciful, although still hard.

We'll miss you, Dave.

Blessings Disguised...

I spoke very briefly here about my BIL who is suffering from ALS. He was able to leave the hospital last Thursday after being there for 6 weeks after he had a feeding tube and ventilator put in. He was looking forward to going home, finally. He was also looking forward to getting married in October.

Well, his first night at home was rough and on Friday morning, he suffered heart failure. He was without a heart beat for too many minutes and when they finally got him back, they were concerned about brain damage.

His body was cooled down to about 87 degrees for 24 hours to try to stop any further damage to his brain. Today, they did some external tests to check for brain activity. Tomorrow they will do an EEG to test for brain wave activity. It's not looking good... He didn't flinch in pain when they poked him and his pupils didn't react when they shined a light into them.

Devestating is the only word I can come up with. This was completely unexpected at ALS does not affect your heart or brain. So, who could have imagined it would be his heart and brain that would be his undoing?

Is this a blessing in disguise? ALS is a long, slow death where your working brain eventually gets trapped inside a body that is unable to even open it's eyelids. Eventually you die of respiratory failure.

But, Dave just laid back and passed out. How simple. Is this a sign from a loving God that Dave had suffered his disease with dignity and faith and Heavenly Father said, "Well, done, my son. Come home to Me. I'm giving you the easy path." His angel mother may have pleaded on his behalf to let him leave the earth swiftly and without further suffering.

We may not know the answer to this in this life. It may not even be the end of his life right now. Further tests need to be done tomorrow. But, if it is his time to go, we must look at the blessing of it all through the tears of grief. The timing was not right for our earthly desires, but we know that our timing isn't God's timing.

I also have to believe that a loving Heavenly Father will not leave his dear, sweet Fiancee without the blessings of being with him eternally should she choose that. God loves us and does not punish us for righteous desires. It doesn't make it any easier right now. But thankfully we can look at it - eventually - with eternal eyes.

What Ere' Thou Art {Look} Well Thy Part

I have always loved the "What Ere Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part" that President Kimball used to talk about. It was something he saw on his mission in Great Britain and it had a profound effect on his life.

I'm altering it a little to say "What Ere Thou Art, LOOK Well Thy Part" because I have known way too many kids who looked one way and acted another. Most of the time, it was a disservice to themselves but they didn't realize it.

Many years ago when we were newlyweds, Mark was the Young Men's president in our ward. There was a young man in the ward who was probably the NICEST boy you'd ever meet. He was polite and respectful and interacted well with adults. I used to tell Mark that I hoped our children (when we had them) would grow up to be like this young man. Even though there was more than 10 years between he and Mark, he ended up becoming a treasured friend that we still run into occasionally.

This young man did not look well his part, though. Despite his wonderful demeanor and personality, he looked like someone who had just come down from the mountains. Sometimes it bordered on the "UnaBomber" look - long scraggly hair, grungy clothes and a scrubby beard. People immediately judged him to be a no-respect loser. I used to think, "B, you aren't doing yourself any favors with that look!" You might say, "Well, people shouldn't judge." But honestly, we make judgments every day. This young man looked like he should be holding a sign begging on the side of the road more than he looked like the nice young man he was. If I didn't know him, what WAS I supposed to think about him???

I see the same thing with young women - nice girls who don't dress like nice girls. Why would you want someone to think you're not a nice girl? People make judgments about who you are by how you're dressed - PERIOD. That will never change no matter how hard we wish it would.

Honestly, I'll admit, I'm ULTRA bugged by the LDS "stars" (especially the dancing ones) who wear not a single stitch of clothes more than the the other non-LDS girls. Seriously, how hard is it to make at least an attempt at covering your private parts?? You don't have to dress like an Amish woman, but you could easily say, "Hey, I'd like to have that neckline a little higher, please." I have the utmost respect for Charlene Wells and the other pageant girls who have worn 1 piece suits and gowns with sleeves and backs despite the pressure to do otherwise.

As for me - I want people to notice that I dress nicely BUT that I also cover those things which should be covered. I buy my sleeves just a little longer. I make sure I find white blouses that don't reveal everything under them and I make sure that when I sit down, that I don't have to fight my skirt or shorts to keep everything under wraps. It's really not that hard to do. How I look should match my attitude and belief system. I am grateful for a mother who taught me that from the time I was small. I have always tried to "Look Well My Part" and will teach our boys to do the same.

Attention Utah Drivers...

That sign on the side of the freeway with the big numbers on it is informing you of a SPEED LIMIT. Let's define the word LIMIT... generally, it means that that's the MOST you can have or do. So, if the speed LIMIT sign has a big 6 and 5 on it, the law is saying that the FASTEST you can drive is 65 mph.

I just returned from a week in the lovely state of Utah and I followed my future sister-in-law from Salt Lake City to Roy one evening. She finally called me on my cell phone and said, "I don't see you. Where are you?" I told her I was trying to strike a balance between keeping up with her and following the law (my NORMAL state of driving). So, while she was careening down the road at warp speed, I was plugging along uncomfortably at about 70 mph with the voices of my kids (who weren't with me) in me head echoing their normal , "Mommy, how fast are you going?" She said, "Okay, you pass me and we'll go your speed. I'll try not to tail-gate you."

What is it with Utahns and speed? Seriously, there are laws people and we should be following them. Read the 12th Article of Faith if you need a little reminder. Slow down... but not as much as my father-in-law who has (and I'm not kidding) been pulled over TWICE on I-15 for driving TOO SLOW. Go figure - they'll stop the slow ones. Maybe the cops can't catch the rest.

Even one of my Utah brother-in-laws mentioned that he found it refreshing when they came to visit us this summer that people weren't speeding like crazy through Seattle. I said, "We have cops who know how to stop people - and they do."

The Gassy Elephant and the Dying Cat

So, N started middle school this year and that means BAND! He has taken piano since he was 6 and we swapped piano lessons for 6th grade band this year. So, after three days of "evaluation", the band teacher recommended he play one of three instruments - Trombone, French Horn and TUBA! So, guess which one my smallish child selected? Why, the one most impossible for him to carry - THE TUBA! I figure the band teacher has it out for me - even though he doesn't know me. He happily sent a tuba home for the family to enjoy.

So, the day he brought it home, his friend across the street also brought home his instrument of choice - the clarinet. They went out in the front yard and gave the neighborhood a concert - the best concert a couple of 6th grade boys with all of three days of band class under their belts could give. And, it was a perfect interpretation of a very gassy elephant a cat dying a horrible death.

Tell me it can only get better...

SISSSSSTERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In August we spent the week at Cub Scout Day Camp. I volunteered for a couple of days. There were 150 cubs there and probably only a handful of them were LDS.

Being the Bishop's Wife (my label), all the little scouts would greet me each day - sometimes from across the field I would hear, "HI SISTER G!!!!" It reminded me of being in downtown Seattle with Young Women several years ago. They were all strung out behind me and when I would get too far ahead or one of them wanted to stop and look, they would yell, "SISTER G!!!!!!!". I wondered how many people around me were thinking, "Huh. She doesn't look like a nun."

The whole "Brother" and "Sister" thing baffles outsiders at times. It's so natural to us. My kids sometimes have trouble when they know a school teacher is LDS - they don't know how to address them because their natural inclination is to call them "Brother Jones" or "Sister Smith" not "Mister Jones" and "Mrs Smith".

Then there's the whole "what do you call your Bishop when you're hanging out with him" thing. That's always sort of humorous to listen to how people handle it. "Mark. Uh, Bishop. Uhhhh, Mark?" But that's a whole different topic...

Chaity Never Faileth

We have had more than our share of mishaps and illness in our ward this summer. We have one sister who was in a head-on freeway collision (with a drunk 17 year old girl) and has been in the hospital since August. We had one sister with MS fall and break her hip. Another who suffers from chronic illness ended up in the hospital with cellulitis. And another who just finished up chemo from a double mastectomy.

Our poor (and totally awesome) Compassionate Service leader has been run ragged. Last Sunday she was chasing down helpers for 4 different lists for food and visits. The other women in our ward have stepped up and been totally AWESOME! The visiting teachers for these sisters in need have been too!

Last Sunday, our Relief Society lesson was on Unity and I will say that nothing creates unity more than the need for charity. When Mark was in the hospital last year with Encephalomyelitis, several people commented that his illness really brought the ward together. We were served in amazing and humbling ways over that three month period from the simplest prayer to the brother who came every Saturday until late Fall to mow our lawn to the youth who came and cleaned up our yard for the winter. Everyone was looking to help.

There is nothing so nourishing to the soul as to serve one another. I am so grateful that service is a big part of the LDS culture. If there were more people in the world who served those around them, the world would be a much better place.

Who Knew He had a Phone...

Seriously, when I got home from Soccer tonight, there was a voice mail message from... Joseph Smith!

Mark used to be the Transient Bishop last year and the calls sometimes still come in because people don't realize it changed in January. Apparently, Joseph Smith needs some help and someone told him that Mark was the transient bishop.

His parents must have had a sense of humor. Or, they weren't members of the church and didn't know that Joseph together with Smith would make Latter-Day Saints with caller ID giggle.

9/11

At bedtime last night, D asked me, "Tomorrow is a sad day. What happened on September 11". I then spent some time telling the kids about what happened on 9/11/2001. They were 2 1/2 and 4 on that awful morning. They didn't know what was going on that day, except that I sat on the couch in a puddle of tears glued to the TV all day. I was careful to not let them watch much of the horror.

Those images are seared into my head. I will never forget that horrible, awful, sickening scene. I got up after Mark called me on his way to work in downtown Seattle. I got up, turned on the TV and then called him back, begging him to come home immediately. He worked in a taller building downtown and my fear was that there were dozens of planes in the air ready to start hitting tall buildings in major cities across America right at rush-hour. He said he was already on his way that pretty much all of the freeway was slowly reversing itself as people got word of what was going on and either decided to not continue into work, or their place of work shut down for the day due to safety concerns. All the tall buildings in downtown Seattle were shut down.

One horrid image in my head is one of a man who jumped in desperation. The news show I was watching caught him on a close-up and followed him for several seconds as he fell. I was sickened as I realized that his loved-ones might be watching the same thing. According to some reports, hundreds did the same and jumped to their death.

I hope every American wakes up this morning with remembrance. Not just sadness but anger and the resolve to never let this happen again. I also hope it compels people to register to vote today and then use their vote to elect good men and women who will always protect and defend America in any way necessary so that no other generation will have to suffer such a horrific event again.

God Bless America and God Bless those families whose lives were changed forever 7 years ago.

The Sacrament Meeting Battle

I sit and watch all the young parents struggle with their little ones during sacrament meeting. I feel for them. I remember those days. Only, much of the time, I was alone because Mark was either in a Bishopric, a Bishop or on the High Council. I think many of our past wards thought I was a single mother.

The kids that get me, though, are the ones who SMILE while their parents cart them out of the chapel. They are still yelling to make sure they get taken out, but I see that little smirk on their faces. I can't help but wonder if they are going off to be disciplined or off to "hall play land". I think I know the answer by the look on their faces. It's amazing that a 2 year old is THAT smart and will actually SMILE while he's screaming on his way out.

But, then there's the kid who went up the aisle a few weeks ago with his dad holding his left hand and his right hand over his bum saying, "no spanks!" It's not often I get a good giggle on High Council Sunday.

If you're one of those struggling young parents, I will say to you that it gets better. When my kids hit about 5 or 6, they suddenly stopped having a pew riot every Sunday. We still had our moments, but I had pretty much won the war.

We made it AWFUL to go to the hall. I mean, AWFUL!!!! Our first line of defense was into the hall and onto our laps. No talking. No reading books. No playing games. They sat on our laps and did NOTHING. If that didn't work (usually because there is a party going on out there), station number two was into an empty classroom on our laps in the same position.

And, if THAT didn't work, we pulled out the BIG GUN! THE CAR SEAT!!! We headed to the car and strapped them in. Usually, that started a melt-down. Well, I don't want to listen to it, so I would stand outside the car with my back to the window enjoying the gentle (HA!) rocking motion caused by the melt-down going on in the car.

Every minute or so, I'd open the door and say, "Are you ready to go back in?" If I got an escalation of the melt-down, I'd just shut the door and turn around again. After a couple of rounds, I would get a sniffling and gasping, "yes".

The bishopric of one ward we were in would snicker when they saw us leave, car keys in hand. They knew what was coming and in a twisted way, it amused them!

As they got older and too big for the car-seat trick, I borrowed a trick from a friend. I take them to an empty classroom or end of the hall (down by your bishop's office is pretty quiet) and I set them on a chair facing the wall. If they are really in hot water, I have been known to make them put their forehead against the wall. Talk about BORING! I mean, their "I Spy a Nephite" book is in the chapel and they are on the hall staring at the wall - a point I usually try to make to them.

So, my tip for you is to be firm, be boring as all get-out in the hall, and be aware that your little darling might be screaming 15 times in an hour in Sacrament meeting because he knows it's better on the other side... Your job is to make sure that when you go through those chapel doors, that it's the worst place they could possibly be.

NEVER Pray for Patience

I'm a firm believe in never praying for patience. I learned the hard way that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor...

Case in point; a few days ago, in our prayer, Mark prayed that I might have patience the next day. Oh, one would think that they next day would be a breeze - me being blessed with patience and all. But, noooooooooooo!!! That's not what happened. And, at the end of that day, I told Mark I would poke my finger in his eye socket DURING the prayer if he EVER did that to me again.

So, what happened that day to try my patience? Well, it was what I call "Tune-up Tuesday". N and D had their annual physicals in the morning and then eye doctor appointments in the afternoon. It was a "getting ready for school" kind of thing.

So, we're at the doctor and everything is going along just fine until the nurse blurts out, "So, I see that they both need their Chicken Pox boosters and their Hep B immunizations. Do you want to go ahead and get those today?" Oh, no, don't make it sound like an option, lady!!!! Under my breath I whispered, "yes", hoping the children hadn't heard a word she said.

Too late! The minute she left the room, N, who is old enough to suck it up and take his shots like a man, started SCREAMING at me hysterically. Here we are sitting in room with the door closed and my child is screaming, "PLEASE MOM, NO!" over and over and over - I can't imagine what everyone in the hall is thinking. In between he's doing what we call his "Moo-cry" where he literally sounds like a distressed moo-ing cow. Oh, and on top of that, just for good measure, he stiffens his limbs out at the top of the cry and jerks his body causing the table he's sitting on to SLAM into the wall. Over and over he's begging me to tell her "Not today". He's willing to make a deal with the Devil if I'll JUST tell her we are going to wait (what, until he's 40?).

So, I'm in his face trying to whisper some reason into his head. I'm telling him he's embarrassing himself and me. He screams, "I DON'T CARE!" I'm telling him he's going to lose Wii for a month and he just jerks and screams louder. It goes on for TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES while we waited for the doctor. Meanwhile, his younger brother is sitting on the other end of the table reading "Green Eggs and Ham" going, "Shots hurt. So what. Whatever..."

The doctor comes in and it CONTINUES all through D's exam. I don't think the doctor could even hear D's heart beat. N is just sitting there blubbering and moo-ing like a dying cow. I was HORRIFIED!

Finally, the doctor gets to him to do his physical and gets him calmed down (give that man a raise!).

Then he says the same nurse who suggested we get the shots is going to come give them and SHE'S GOOD! So, he leaves and she comes in. She swabs off D's arms with alcohol and pops a needle in each arm while he sits on my lap. He was like, "Did you even give them to me?"

Then it's N's turn. The moo-ing starts ramping up again and he starts to go "animal" on me. The begging starts again - I'm the meanest mom in the world because I said, "Yes". He's trying to get out of the room. I get him on my lap and literally hog-tie his arms with my hands. She pops a needle in each arm and he relaxes, jumps off my lap and says, "Hey, you're right, D, that didn't hurt at all"...

If I could have crawled out the window to get to my car, I would have.

Patience! DO NOT EVER PRAY FOR IT and DON'T LET YOUR HUSBAND DO THAT TO YOU! The price of patience is too high. How about we pray I just get through the day unscathed?

2 Fishies and a Castle - A Love Story

We bought N a fish tank for his birthday a few years ago and immediately killed the fish with Ick. So, I kept making excuses after that as to why it just wasn't the right time to get more fish. The tank essentially sat empty after that until this year. N's teacher wanted a tank in his room and N offered ours. I was thrilled to haul it over to the school where the 5th grade class set it up and filled it with little fish and snails. Well, my evil plan was to GIVE it to the teacher, but he had other plans. He asked N if he wanted to take the fish home with the tank at the end of the school year (drats - foiled!). N has a parakeet he got last year so he decided to let D have the tank with the fish and so I was found carefully wheeling a half-full tank of fish to my van and driving it home the day before school got out this spring.

Well, we had 3 fish and a boat-load of snails. One fish immediately kicked the bucket so I assumed the others would too. But they didn't. And the snails were multiplying at something more than a snail's pace. We had to learn about snail reproduction to answer the question of why more snails kept appearing.

Suddenly, a few weeks ago, the other two fish disappeared. We kept looking for their bodies at the top of the tank. Then I started moving the castle around to see if their bodies were trapped in there. Once in a while they would dart out and swim like crazed, caged beasts before retreating back into the castle. I thought maybe the snails were threatening to beat them up or something as the snails far out-numbered the two small fish.

D was totally distraught that his fish were going to die. It was bizarre that they suddenly wanted to be inside that small red castle night and day.

And then.... one morning I turned on the tank light to look again for the fish and I saw tiny movement in the rocks at the bottom of the tank. Upon further inspection, I saw that it was tiny little fish. Suddenly, I started seeing movement everywhere. And then I understood! The fish were on their Honeymoon in the big red castle. How romantic.... Now, D is the proud new grandpa of about 2 dozen little fishies. He couldn't be happier.

We always have "THE TALK" with our kids when they turn 8 and the fish family gave us another opportunity to talk about that again. I'm not sure HOW the baby fishies happened (especially since these were two different types of fish) , but we had to explain a LITTLE bit about it. Of course it started out with "a girl fish and a boy fish fell in love and got married..."

We assume one of the snails officiated...

Great Parenting Advice

LINK

I feel strongly that consistent rule enforcement and discipline coupled with teaching gospel principles FROM BIRTH gives you the best chance of success as a parent. The older my boys get, the less I have to get on them for things. They are STILL boys (body noises and all), but, they are making good choices with their friends and activities. I hope this will continue and that we have laid a good foundation for them.

Whey our oldest was born, I had an overwhelming sense of "hurry". I only had EIGHT SHORT YEARS to prepare him to be accountable for his own actions. That frightened me. How do you shape a child of God in EIGHT YEARS? If he fails, then we failed. Yes, he has his agency, but I hope both of them will use their agency appropriately as they grow.

Someone in a past ward once mocked me because we had family scripture study every night with our infant son. She implied we were wasting our time. I didn't think so. And, any parent who's tried to have FHE with a 2 year old knows that it's often more frustration than anything else. But, our kids don't remember a time when we DIDN'T do those things. And, I have to believe that our infant sons understood the words we read to them. Afterall, they were so fresh from heaven... They probably understood them better than we did.

Of course, my parenting theory will be most likely heavily tested in the coming years as our sons become teenagers. I know it won't be without bumps, but I hope the bumps are smaller because we thought forward in our parenting and tried to prepare them from birth withstand the world.

We'll be watching anxiously.

The Iwon Wad...

Years ago when we were first married, there was a family in our ward with three little boys. It's a wonder those boys actually grew up - they spent their days trying to figure out how to kill one another. For example, the family was remodeling their old home and the dad had cut a big hole in the floor in the living room to access the crawl space. So, the oldest two put the toddler on a TV cart with wheels and wheeled him across the room into the hole where he plunged down into the crawl space and broke his leg. When asked why they did it, they said, "We wanted to know if the TV cart would fit in the hole." Okay, fine, but did you need to see if your brother would fit, too?

Anyway, I digress. One of the boys had a rather pronounced speech impediment. Mark had the same one when he was small. It was the dreaded "Elmer Fudd" pwoblem. He couldn't say his "R's". And, if you'd like to read this blog entry in "Elmer Fudd-Speak" just for fun, you can translate it HERE. Just pull down Elmer Fudd and put the domain of this blog in the box.

Again, I digress. Really, I have a point - and a spiritual thought, so stay with me! One Sunday, we were sitting in front of this family and the closing song was "The Iron Rod". The son with the speech problem was BELTING it out like Ethel Merman. Only it was coming out like this:

"Hold to the wod, the iwon wod
it's stwong and bwight and twue
The iwon wod is the wooowd of God
Twill safewy guide us thwooo!"

We got the giggles and could hardly finish singing. To this day, we can hardly sing that song without thinking of this little boy. He's like 24 now and I assume, like Mark, he is good with the R sound now.

So, a few months ago, at a stake meeting, our wonderful stake president decided to talk about that 1 Nephi Chapter 8 - Lehi's Dream. I am still thinking about his words - they made a profound impression on me.

There are three groups in the dream -

1. Those who held to the rod until the mist of darkness came. Then they fell away and were lost - they let go willingly. They never even got to the tree of life to taste the fruit.
   
2. Those who held to the rod until the mist of darkness came and then they pressed on CLINGING to the rod. They then partook of the fruit but then looked around ashamedly, as if they didn't REALLY believe in what was happening. Then, when others mocked them for doing that, they ditched it all and ran.
   
3. Those who held to the rod DESPITE the fact that people made fun of them for doing so. They just carried on and ignored the mockers and pointers - "they heeded them not". They just grabbed hold and kept going.
   

The group he talked most about was group 2. He said that those people were fine until they faced opposition in the mist of darkness. Then, they had to CLING to the rod. They could no longer merely hold on. They held on for dear life.

Think of someone CLINGING to a rope or ledge. The mental picture of CLINGING is someone desperately trying not to lose hold. Or, you cling to something because you are unsure of the path you are taking. He said you would think that by CLINGING to the rod that that group had the surest grip on it, but they were actually the weakest of those still holding to the rod. They were fragile and knew that if they didn't cling, they would let go.

Look what happened, they made it only to be ashamed and embarrassed to even be associated with the group of fruit eaters. Then, when times got tough and the others made fun of them for being with the fruit eaters, they bolted. "Hey, dude, what a LOSER. Nobody wants to hang out with a FRUIT EATER!"

For some reason, I had never thought about that middle group. I, probably along with most others, assumed that their clinging didn't really mean much except they were just trying really hard to get through the mist of darkness.

So, what areas do I "cling"? It has caused me reflect a lot on times when I cling and times when I just hold steady. Our testimonies are fragile things - especially in this world where us "fruit eaters" look like freaks at times to those in the great and spacious building. I see people around me clinging and some of them are holding on by their fingernails. My prayer is that I can help them lesson their grip but keep it strong that they will be happy to be known as a "Fruit Eater" when the world mocks them for it.